How do I support them when they feel stuck copying others? 

Parenting Perspective 

Children often copy the behaviour or tone of their peers as a way to feel included and accepted. Sometimes, they might even admit that they do not like what they are saying but feel ‘stuck’ because it helps them to fit in. Supporting them through this means teaching them the courage to step away from blind imitation and offering them the tools to make independent, respectful choices. 

Validate Their Struggle 

Acknowledge that their feelings are real and understandable. You could say, ‘It is very normal to want to fit in with your friends, but you do not have to copy everything they do to belong.’ This simple validation reassures them that their struggle is recognised and that you are on their side. 

Build Their Inner Confidence 

Gently remind your child of their own positive strengths and unique identity. For example: ‘You are a kind and thoughtful person, and people respect you most when you are just being yourself.’ Having confidence in their own character makes it easier for them to resist the pressure to copy negative behaviours. 

Practise Alternatives Together 

You can use role-playing to work through common peer-pressure scenarios and show your child how to respond without being rude or disrespectful. This could involve practising how to use humour instead of sarcasm, or how to state a polite disagreement. Rehearsing these alternatives in a safe space builds their courage for real-life situations. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam teaches that a believer’s identity should be distinct and founded on righteous principles, not on the imitation of others. Guiding a child to find confidence in their own character is a way of nurturing a strong and independent Muslim identity. 

Cooperating in Goodness, Not Harm 

The Quran makes it clear that while we should cooperate with others in all that is good, we are forbidden from following them into behaviour that is harmful or sinful. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Maaidah (5), Verses 2: 

‘…And participate with each other to promote righteousness and piety, and do not collaborate in the committal of any sin or moral transgression…’ 

The Danger of Imitation 

The prophetic tradition teaches a powerful lesson about imitation: that it has the ability to shape our very identity. This serves as a caution against blindly copying the conduct of others. 

It is recorded in Sunan Abu Dawood, Hadith 4031, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘Whoever imitates a people is one of them.’ 

By supporting your child when they feel trapped in the habit of copying others, you are giving them the faith-based courage to choose their own respectful path. They learn that true confidence and belonging come not from mimicry, but from living with dignity, kindness, and taqwa.