How do I support them refusing to pile on in a roasting session? 

Parenting Perspective 

When children gather in groups, humour can quickly cross the line into cruelty. What begins as harmless teasing can turn into public humiliation, and the one who refuses to join in may feel torn between their conscience and their desire to belong. Your role as a parent is to help your child find their strength in kindness, not in popularity. Begin by acknowledging how difficult this can be. You might say, ‘It takes real courage to stay kind when it seems like everyone else is laughing.’ This builds empathy for your child’s social struggle while affirming their moral clarity. 

Helping Them to Recognise the Line 

Children often join in with ‘roasting sessions’ without fully realising the harm they are causing. Teach them to look for the clues that a joke has gone too far: the target’s silence, their forced laughter, or their visible discomfort. You can ask reflective questions, such as, ‘If you were in their place, how would that make you feel?’ Once a child is able to sense the emotional cost of mockery, they can begin to separate humour from harm. Explain that laughter built on someone’s embarrassment is not confidence; it is weakness disguised as fun. 

Giving Them Words to Step Back Gracefully 

Peer pressure often thrives on silence, so it is important to equip your child with respectful, non-confrontational ways to exit the situation. You could suggest phrases such as: 

• ‘I am not comfortable with this; it is starting to feel mean.’ 

• ‘Let us talk about something else.’ 

• Or simply, ‘I am out of this one, guys.’ 

Rehearse these lines so that they feel natural. Let your child practise their tone and body language calm, firm, and not superior. The goal is to withdraw from cruelty without shaming the group. You can also encourage them to quietly comfort the person being targeted later on, even with a simple, ‘That was not fair. You did not deserve that.’ Such gestures restore dignity and empathy in moments of isolation. 

Building Inner Confidence and Belonging 

Help your child to realise that choosing compassion is not a social failure. Praise their restraint when they refuse to join in. Share stories of people who stood alone for what was right classmates, community members, or prophetic examples to show that moral courage is a timeless and admirable quality. At home, make kindness a source of pride. Speak positively about those who protect others rather than those who perform for attention. Over time, your child learns that belonging is not about joining every laugh, but about standing by their values with quiet strength. 

Modelling Respectful Humour 

Humour is not forbidden; it is healthy when it is rooted in gentleness. Let your child see you laugh with people, never at them. Avoid mocking others, even subtly. This teaches that wit can coexist with compassion. The more your child witnesses you maintaining dignity in your own humour, the more naturally they will mirror that boundary among their peers. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam celebrates kindness, modesty, and compassion in speech. The noble Quran and the Sunnah repeatedly remind believers that mockery, sarcasm, and public humiliation are poisons that destroy brotherhood. Teaching your child to walk away from ridicule is not about suppressing their joy; it is about protecting hearts from arrogance and cruelty, which are qualities that Allah Almighty detests. 

Guarding the Tongue and the Heart 

The Quran gives a direct warning against mocking or belittling others. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Hujuraat (49), Verse 11: 

‘Those of you who are believers, do not let a nation ridicule another nation, as perhaps it may be that they are better than them…’ 

You can share this verse with your child and explain, ‘Every laugh that hurts someone else weakens our faith.’ Encourage them to remember that the worth of a person lies not in how funny they are, but in how honourably they treat others. Tell them, ‘When you protect someone’s dignity, Allah Almighty protects yours.’ This helps them see restraint as strength, not awkwardness. 

The Weight of Words in Islam 

The teachings of our Prophet ﷺ highlight the immense power of our speech; a single phrase can elevate or destroy our standing before Allah. 

It is recorded in Riyadh Al Saliheen, Hadith 1515, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘A man may speak a word pleasing to Allah, without considering it of any significance, and Allah will raise him by many degrees because of it; and a man may utter a word displeasing to Allah, without considering it of any significance, and because of it he will fall into Hellfire.’ 

This hadith beautifully teaches the significance of our words. You can tell your child, ‘Even a small, kind word that is said during a cruel moment can bring you a great reward.’ This reminds them that their silence, or a gentle redirection of the conversation, can carry immense spiritual weight. 

Choosing not to participate in mockery builds character that stands tall before Allah Almighty. It trains the heart to prefer mercy over mockery, empathy over entertainment. Remind your child that the laughter of others fades quickly, but the peace of a clean conscience lasts forever. When they protect someone from humiliation, they are living the sunnah of mercy walking in the footsteps of the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ, who never mocked or shamed another soul.