How do I support a child who repeated gossip and wants to make it right? 

Parenting Perspective 

When a child repeats gossip, the impact can be far bigger than they intended. What may have seemed like ‘just sharing a story’ can end up hurting someone’s feelings, damaging a friendship, or breaking trust. The fact that your child now feels regret is a positive sign; it shows that they recognise the harm their words have caused and want to make amends. This is your chance to guide them through the process of repairing the relationship and developing a strong moral compass regarding their speech. 

Help Them Understand Why Gossip Hurts 

A child may not always connect the act of gossiping with the harm it causes. You can explain this clearly. 

• Gossip involves spreading private or unkind information about someone. 

• Once those words have been shared, they can never be fully taken back. 

• Gossip can make the person being spoken about feel embarrassed, lonely, or betrayed. 

You can use a simple scenario to make it real for them: ‘Imagine if someone told others a secret that you had shared with them. How would that make you feel?’ 

Teach a Clear Path to Making Things Right 

When a child regrets spreading gossip, they need to know what steps to take next. You can walk them through this simple process. 

1. Apologise to the person they gossiped about: ‘I am sorry that I repeated something I should not have. It was not fair to you.’ 

2. Stop the chain of gossip: Teach them to go back to the people they spoke to and say: ‘I should not have said that. It was not the right thing to do, so please do not repeat it to anyone else.’ 

3. Make amends through kindness: Encourage them to perform small acts of support or inclusion for the person they hurt, showing through their actions that they genuinely care. 

Provide a Calm Script for the Apology 

Children often worry about what to say. You can offer them simple, calm words to use. 

• ‘I said something about you that I should not have, and I am very sorry.’ 

• ‘I realise now that it was the wrong thing to do, and I will not do it again.’ 

Encourage them to be honest and to avoid making excuses, as blaming others (‘But they told me first!’) weakens the sincerity of an apology. 

Reflect on Developing Self-Control in Speech 

Once the situation has been resolved, you can help your child to reflect. 

• ‘What made you want to share that story in the first place?’ 

• ‘What could you do to stop yourself from doing that next time?’ 

• ‘What could you say instead if someone tries to tell you some gossip?’ 

You can offer them practical alternatives, such as walking away, changing the subject, or simply saying, ‘I do not think we should be talking about that.’ 

Praise Their Courage to Make Amends 

Taking responsibility for spreading gossip is not an easy thing to do. Be sure to praise your child for facing their mistake: ‘I am so proud of you for choosing to make that right. It showed real courage and a good character.’ 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam teaches that guarding our tongues is a part of our faith. Supporting your child when they regret engaging in gossip means teaching them to repair the harm they have caused, to apologise with sincerity, and to develop self-control in their speech. Linking these lessons to the Quran and the teachings of the Prophet ﷺ shows them that guarding what they say is a vital part of their relationship with Allah. 

Speak What Is Good or Remain Silent 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Hujuraat (49), Verse 12: 

‘Those of you who have believed, abstain as much as you can from cynical thinking (about one another); as some of that cynical thinking is a sin; and do not spy (on each other) and do not let some of you backbite against others; would one of you like to eat the meat of his mortally expired brother? Not at all – you would find it repulsive…’ 

This powerful verse warns us against gossip and backbiting, showing how ugly and harmful these actions are. Teaching your child this verse helps them to understand that gossip is not just socially harmful, but also spiritually damaging. 

Guarding the Tongue Is a Sign of Faith 

It is recorded in Sahih Muslim, Hadith 48, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘Whoever believes in Allah and the Last Day should speak what is good or remain silent.’ 

This hadith teaches a simple but profound principle: if our words are not kind or beneficial, then silence is always the better choice. When your child apologises for gossiping and makes amends, they are learning to guard their tongue, which is a sign of true belief. 

Over time, your child will learn that their words should be used to protect the dignity of others, to heal relationships, and to bring them closer to Allah.