How do I stop using my device as an emotional escape when parenting feels overwhelming? 

Parenting Perspective 

It is completely natural to look for relief when parenting becomes intense. However, when a device becomes your main emotional escape, it can subtly push out more restorative coping strategies and create a disconnect from your child when they might need you the most. The first step is simple awareness: just noticing when you reach for your phone out of stress, not necessity. Acknowledging the feeling, even silently to yourself ‘I feel overwhelmed right now’ is a powerful way to break the automatic cycle. 

Find Healthier Coping Mechanisms 

Instead of instinctively scrolling, try replacing that reflex with small, grounding actions. This could be taking a few deep breaths, making a quick dua, or simply stepping outside for a moment of fresh air. It can also help to create a designated “pause spot” in your home a specific chair or a corner with a prayer mat that signals to your brain it is time for a healthy reset. Over time, these alternatives can become your new habit, reducing your reliance on the device as an emotional crutch. 

Build a Safety Net of Emotional Support 

Do not underestimate the power of human connection. Identify one or two trusted people you can message or call when you feel overwhelmed. Even sending a short voice note to a friend that says, “Today is a difficult one,” can provide more genuine relief than hours of aimless scrolling and serves as a vital lifeline of support. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam fully acknowledges the reality of human emotion while guiding us towards beneficial responses, such as seeking strength through patience (sabr) and reliance on Allah Almighty during times of trial. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Baqarah (2), Verse 153: 

‘O those of you who are believers, seek assistance (from Allah Almighty) through resilience and prayer, indeed, Allah (Almighty) is with those that are resilient…‘ 

This verse provides a divine prescription for difficult moments. Turning to patience and prayer is not a dismissal of our feelings, but a way of connecting to a source of strength and support that is far greater than our own. 

It is recorded in Al Adab Al Mufrad, Hadith 1317, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘The strong person is not the one who throws his opponent down. The strong person is the one who controls himself when he is angry.’ 

This Hadith redefines strength not as physical power, but as self-mastery. By modelling emotional discipline and controlling our impulses in front of our children, we teach them resilience more powerfully than any words ever could. 

By replacing the impulse to escape into a device with intentional pauses, prayer, and genuine support, you protect your own well-being and your connection with your child, showing them that true peace is found in presence, not behind a screen.