How do I stop using a tablet as a quick fix when my child is frustrated with a task?

Parenting Perspective

It can be very tempting to hand over a tablet when your child becomes upset with a task, as it often calms the situation down almost instantly. However, over time, this can inadvertently teach them to avoid discomfort rather than learning to work through it. The key is to replace the device with responses that help them manage their emotions and build resilience.

Acknowledge and Validate Feelings

Begin by simply naming and validating what you see. Saying something like, ‘I can tell this is really frustrating for you,’ makes your child feel seen and understood. This simple acknowledgement can reduce their need for an instant distraction.

Offer Small Steps Instead of an Escape

Instead of offering an escape from the task, offer support within it. You can break the task into smaller, more manageable parts and offer to help with just the first one. For example, if they are drawing, you could suggest starting with just one shape together before they continue on their own.

Keep Calming Tools Nearby

It can be helpful to have a basket of non-digital comforts easily accessible. This could include puzzles, colouring sheets, or sensory items like a stress ball or play dough. These items offer a healthy way to take a break without completely abandoning the opportunity to try the task again later.

By staying present and helping your child move through their frustration rather than bypassing it with a screen, you teach them invaluable problem-solving skills and emotional endurance.

Spiritual Insight

Islam encourages us to develop patience and persistence when we face challenges, rather than seeking immediate relief from every form of discomfort. This principle is foundational to building a strong character.

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Inshirah (94), Verses 5–6:

‘ Thus with (every) hardship there is facilitation (from Allah Almighty). Indeed, with (every) hardship there is facilitation (from Allah Almighty).’

This powerful repetition reminds us that difficulties are temporary and that patiently working through them is the path to relief and success.

It is recorded in Sahih Muslim, Hadith 2664, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said:

‘The strong believer is better and more beloved to Allah than the weak believer, while there is good in both. Strive for that which will benefit you, seek the help of Allah, and do not feel helpless.’

This teaches us that facing challenges with perseverance and seeking help from Allah builds both strength of character and trust in Him.

When you guide your child through moments of frustration without resorting to a tablet, you are not only helping them to develop healthy coping skills but also aligning their habits with the Islamic approach to resilience, perseverance, and growth.