How do I stop the pattern of sneaking out of bed after goodnights? 

Parenting Perspective 

When your child sneaks out of bed after you have said goodnight, perhaps for ‘one more drink’, another hug, or a trip to the hallway, it can feel like the day will never end. You may feel exasperated, torn between a feeling of gentleness and a need for firmness. But this pattern is rarely about defiance; it is often about a need for connection, control, or comfort. Children tend to test boundaries the most when they need the reassurance that those boundaries will hold. The goal is to make bedtime feel both safe and predictable, so that your child no longer needs to escape it in order to feel secure. 

Begin with Connection Before Separation 

The act of sneaking out of bed often signals an unfinished sense of connection. You can try slowing down the bedtime routine so that it ends in a way that feels both warm and decisive. 

‘This is our last hug and our last dua. After this, it is time to rest.’ 

A calm, connected ending can help your child to settle emotionally. When they feel noticed and secure, their need to keep reappearing will lessen. 

Define the Boundary with Calmness and Clarity 

You should explain the rule to your child in advance. 

‘Once I have said goodnight, that means it is bedtime. You can call me if you are feeling unwell, but not for anything else.’ 

A sense of predictability can remove the thrill of testing the boundary. You should try to avoid long negotiations or threats; clarity works better than control. 

Respond with Quiet Consequences, Not Drama 

If your child comes out of their room, you should try to stay calm. Avoid lecturing them or giving them emotional explanations. You can simply lead them back to their bed with a minimal amount of interaction. 

‘It is bedtime now. Back we go.’ 

You should keep your tone and your actions identical each time. A repetition of this action, without an emotional reaction, can end the power struggle much faster than showing your frustration ever will. 

Spiritual Insight 

Bedtime marks a transition from activity to rest, from an outward busyness to an inward sense of calm. In Islam, sleep is not just a pause in our day, but a trust from Allah Almighty, a nightly reminder of peace, renewal, and surrender. Teaching your child to settle peacefully at night is, in essence, teaching them how to trust that stillness is safe. 

Rest as Divine Mercy in the Noble Quran 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Rome (30), Verse 23: 

‘And amongst His Signs (of the infinite truth) is your sleep, whether in the night or in the day, and your continuous discovery of His benefactions; indeed, in this there are (logical and rational) Signs for those nations who (are willing to) listen.’ 

This verse reminds us that sleep itself is one of the signs of Allah Almighty, a mercy that has been designed for our balance and wellbeing. Helping your child to embrace their bedtime calmly helps to connect them to this divine rhythm of rest and reflection. It teaches them that peace is not something that is imposed upon them; it is something that is received through a sense of trust. 

Tranquillity Before Sleep in the Teachings of the Holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ 

It is recorded in Riyadh Al Saliheen, Hadith 1460, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘When any one of you goes to bed, let him dust off his bed and recite the name of Allah, for he does not know what may have come to it after he left it.’ 

This Hadith captures both a sense of care and of calm before sleeping, a practical and spiritual act of mindfulness. Sharing a nightly dua or a short recitation from the Quran can help your child to associate their bedtime with a feeling of protection, not one of separation. It can help to shift their focus from missing you to a remembrance of Allah Almighty, making their rest an act of faith and a source of comfort. 

When your child keeps sneaking out of their bed, they are really checking to see whether your boundary, and your love, still hold once the lights are out. By ending the day with a steady warmth, clear limits, and a sense of spiritual calm, you can teach them that peace does not disappear when their bedroom door closes.