How do I stop one child from feeling invisible when siblings achieve more? 

Parenting Perspective 

When one child consistently excels in areas like academics or sports, it is natural for a quieter or differently paced sibling to feel overlooked. This sense of invisibility can harm their confidence and family relationships, but parents can counteract it with intentional and heartfelt recognition. 

Notice and Celebrate Unique Qualities 

Instead of waiting for major milestones, make a conscious effort to highlight your child’s intrinsic qualities. Praise them for attributes that are not measured by grades or trophies but are equally, if not more, important. Notice and celebrate qualities like kindness, perseverance, or creativity. For example, you might say, ‘I saw how patiently you helped your brother with his homework today,’ or, ‘I love the creative way you thought of that idea.’ This provides recognition for their unique character and shows them they are valued for who they are. 

Dedicate Individual Time and Space 

Create moments, even brief ones, where your child has your undivided attention and feels seen without comparison. In family conversations, intentionally make space for their voice by asking for their opinions or showing interest in their hobbies. Simple shared rituals, such as rotating who chooses a family meal or leads the evening dua, also ensure every child feels included and important. Over time, these consistent practices build a child’s sense of worth and belonging, reassuring them that their value is not defined by comparison to anyone else. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam teaches that every individual is seen and valued by Allah Almighty, who judges sincerity and effort above outward results or worldly achievements. 

In the sight of God, no person is invisible. This principle provides a powerful spiritual framework for parents to ensure justice and compassion in the home. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Zalzalah (99), Verses 7: 

‘Thus, everyone’s actions equivalent to the measurement of an atom that is good shall be observed by them (on the Day of Judgment).’ 

This verse is a profound reminder that even the smallest acts of goodness hold immense value. Parents must strive to mirror this divine justice by recognising and appreciating every child’s effort, no matter how subtle they may appear. 

It is recorded in Jami Tirmidhi, Hadith 1952, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘A father cannot give his child anything better than good manners.’ 

This beautiful hadith shifts the focus away from conventional achievements. It teaches that the true measure of success lies in qualities of character, such as kindness, respect, and integrity. By ensuring that quieter or slower-achieving children are seen and praised for these unique traits, parents fulfil their duty of justice. This approach builds resilience and self-worth, showing each child that their efforts matter deeply, both within the family and in the sight of Allah Almighty.