Parenting Perspective 

Comparing oneself to others is a common reaction in parenting, but it often does more harm than good. Observing other children who seem calmer or more cooperative can cause a parent to reflect on their own child and parenting methods. Each child has their own distinct personality, growth journey, and family setting. Actions do not determine a person’s value or achievements. What you see in public often does not represent the complete picture. 

When parents concentrate on their own child’s development rather than comparing to others, they start to see improvements they may have missed before. Maintaining a short record of minor achievements or instances of emotional strength in your child can assist in shifting your viewpoint. 

Factors that Shape Behaviour 

• Sleep 

• Diet 

• Attachment 

• Sensory needs 

It is important to keep in mind that behaviour is influenced by various hidden factors. Parenting with a focus on satisfaction instead of comparison fosters a stronger emotional bond. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam encourages self-awareness and gratitude, not comparison. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Hujuraat (49), Verse 11: 

Those of you who are believers, do not let a nation ridicule another nation, as perhaps it may be that they are better than them… 

This verse serves as a reminder that things that seem better at first glance may not actually represent true worth or virtue. 

It is recorded in Jami Tirmidhi, Hadith 2513, that holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ stated: 

Look to one who is lower than you, and do not look to one who is above you. For indeed that is more worthy (so that you will) not belittle Allah’s favours upon you. 

Parents are advised to recognise their own blessings and stay rooted in thankfulness. When a person refrains from making comparisons and dedicates themselves to raising their child with genuine care, they honour the trust that Allah Almighty has entrusted to them. Every child is a distinct trust and should not be compared to others.