How do I stay warm when I am counting minutes to my own rest? 

Parenting Perspective 

At the end of a long day, when your own energy is completely depleted, it can feel almost impossible to remain warm and patient during your child’s bedtime routine. Yet, even the smallest gestures of affection in these final moments are deeply important for your child’s sense of security. 

Acknowledge Your Own Tiredness 

The first step is to be honest with yourself. Acknowledging, even just internally, ‘I am exhausted, and that is making it harder to be patient,’ can create the mental pause needed to prevent you from snapping. This moment of self-awareness allows you to act with intention rather than from pure fatigue. 

Use Short, Gentle, and Connecting Scripts 

Warmth does not require long, elaborate speeches or extended playtime. When you are drained, rely on words that are brief but kind. 

• A simple, heartfelt, ‘I love you. Sleep well, inshaAllah,’ can be enough. 

• Or, a quiet, ‘I was very proud of you today,’ ends the day on a note of connection without demanding much energy from you. 

Rely on Rituals, Not Energy 

On days when you feel you have nothing left to give, let your established routine carry the emotional weight. A consistent ritual provides comfort and predictability for your child, reducing the need for you to actively negotiate or manage the situation. 

• The familiar sequence of a specific dua, a hug, and a kiss goodnight can bring comfort on its own. 

• A repeated phrase like, ‘See you in the morning, bright and early, inshaAllah,’ signals a warm but definite end to the day. 

Protect Your Own Need for Rest 

It is not selfish to protect your own need for rest; it is wise. Gently holding the boundary at the end of the bedtime routine ensures that your exhaustion does not turn into resentment. 

• If your child asks you to stay longer, you can say, ‘I know you would like that. I am very tired now, so it is time for me to say goodnight. I love you, and I will see you in the morning.’ 

• Preserving your own calm is a way of preserving your bond with your child for the next day. 

Spiritual Insight 

Our patience as parents is often tested most when our energy is at its lowest. Islam provides comfort in these moments, teaching us that even the smallest acts of kindness, when done with sincerity, carry immense weight in the sight of Allah. 

The Power of Gentleness, Even When Tired 

The Quran reminds us that the Prophet Muhammad’s ﷺ gentle and lenient nature was a mercy from Allah and the key to holding hearts together. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Aalai Imran (3), Verse 159: 

‘So, it is by the mercy from Allah (Almighty) that you (O Prophet Muhammad ﷺ) are lenient with them; and if you had been harsh (in your speech) or restrained (in your heart), they would have dispersed from around you…’ 

This verse is a beautiful reminder that gentleness, even and especially when we are tired, is what preserves the love and connection within a family. 

The Value of Small, Consistent Deeds 

Islam teaches that the most beloved deeds are not necessarily the largest, but those that are done consistently. 

It is recorded in Sahih Bukhari, Hadith 6465, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘The deeds most beloved to Allah are those done regularly, even if they are small.’ 

This Hadith is a source of great comfort for a tired parent. It teaches that your small, consistent acts of warmth at bedtime, such as a gentle word or a brief hug, are deeply valued and beloved by Allah, even if they feel minor to you.