Parenting Perspective 

It is common for children to fear that either asking for forgiveness or being the one to forgive will make them appear weak. They might also worry that their mistakes can break a bond of love permanently. As a parent, you can help to shift this perception by modelling forgiveness as a powerful force that actually restores love, rather than reducing it. When forgiveness is expressed with warmth and sincerity, children learn that mistakes do not have to be the end of affection, but can instead become opportunities for growth. This helps them to learn about accountability without feeling shame, and about mercy without feeling fear. 

Forgive with Warm and Intentional Words 

Instead of using a dismissive phrase like, ‘It is fine,’ try using words that are more intentional and reassuring. A statement such as, ‘I forgive you, because our love for each other is much more important than this mistake,’ is very effective. This teaches them that forgiveness is not a casual dismissal of what has happened, but is a conscious act of strengthening the bond between you. 

Pair Forgiveness with an Act of Reconnection 

After you have offered your forgiveness, it is important to follow it up with a gesture of reconnection, such as a hug, a warm smile, or an invitation to do a shared activity. These physical and emotional acts of reconnection show your child that forgiveness does not leave a distance between you, but in fact brings you closer together again. 

Teach Forgiveness as a Skill That Protects Love 

You can explain to your child, ‘When we forgive each other, it is like we are making our relationship stronger, not weaker.’ This helps them to see the act of forgiving as a practical skill that can be used to protect the love in your family, rather than as a loss of their pride. 

Model Humility by Seeking Forgiveness Yourself 

Apologise sincerely and openly to your children when you make a mistake yourself. This shows them that seeking and granting forgiveness is a mutual practice that strengthens respect in both directions. 

Anchor the Act of Forgiveness in Love 

You can say, ‘I am forgiving you because I love you, and because Allah loves those who forgive.’ This simple statement helps to link the act of forgiveness to both the human affection within your family and to a quality that is beloved by Allah. 

By normalising forgiveness as a beautiful and healing act, parents can create an environment where children feel safe enough to make mistakes, to take responsibility for them, and to rebuild trust without any fear of rejection. 

Spiritual Insight 

The Quran on the Reward for Forgiveness 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Shuraa (42), Verses 40: 

‘And the outcome (of defending) against an evil, (could be the formation) of an evil similar to it; so therefore, whoever offers amnesty and reconciliation, then his reward shall be with Allah (Almighty); indeed, He (Allah Almighty) does not like the transgressors.’ 

This verse shows that choosing the path of forgiveness and reconciliation is not a sign of weakness, but is in fact an act of immense spiritual strength that brings with it a reward from Allah. It helps to turn moments of conflict into opportunities for growing closer to Him through His mercy. 

Prophetic Praise for the Quality of Mercy 

It is recorded in Jami Tirmidhi, Hadith 3790, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘The most merciful of my Ummah to my Ummah is Abu Bakr, and the strongest of them in the Deen of Allah is Umar.’ 

This hadith highlights that the quality of mercy, which is expressed through forgiveness, was one of the greatest characteristics praised by the Prophet ﷺ. Parents can draw from this the lesson that being merciful makes our bonds stronger, not weaker. When children see the act of forgiveness being practised regularly and lovingly in their home, they learn that a love which is rooted in mercy is resilient and enduring, just as Allah desires for us.