Parenting Perspective 

Children often see apologies as simply a way of following the rules: they break a rule, they say sorry, and then they move on. However, the act of repair goes much deeper; it is about healing relationships and restoring trust. Teaching your child that repair is about people’s feelings, not just about rules, helps them to value kindness and connection over simple compliance. 

Shift the Focus from Rules to Feelings 

Explain to your child, ‘When you hurt someone, it is not only about breaking a rule; it is about hurting their heart. Making amends means helping them to feel better, not just avoiding getting into trouble.’ This helps them to see an apology as a relational act, not a mechanical one. 

Use Real-Life Examples 

If your child shouts at their sibling, you could say, ‘The rule in our house is no shouting, but the bigger problem is that your sister felt very upset. Repairing this means helping her to feel safe and happy with you again.’ This shows them that the health of the relationship matters more than just ticking a box. 

Teach Repair Through Kind Gestures 

Encourage your child to follow up their apology with a thoughtful act of kindness. This could be helping a sibling with a chore, sharing a toy with a friend they have upset, or simply sitting and listening to them. These actions remind them that the goal is not punishment, but rebuilding closeness. 

Model Relationship-Centred Repair Yourself 

When you need to apologise to your child, try to go beyond just the rule that was broken. You could say, ‘I am sorry I raised my voice earlier. I know it must have hurt your feelings. Let’s spend some time together now.’ This shows them that the purpose of repair is to restore love, not just order. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam places a great emphasis on mending relationships as a priority of our faith. While rules are there to guide us, the higher purpose is always to maintain love, mercy, and reconciliation. Teaching this principle to children ensures they see the act of repair as a way of protecting their most important bonds. 

The Duty of Healing Bonds 

The Quran reminds us that making a settlement and restoring peace between people is a fundamental duty of a believer, and it is an act that earns the mercy of Allah. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Hujuraat (49), Verses 10: 

‘ Indeed, the believers are brothers (to each other); so, make peace with your brothers; and seek piety from Allah (Almighty) so that you may receive His Mercy.‘ 

The Importance of Restoring Peace 

The prophetic tradition teaches that the act of reconciliation is so important that forgiveness from Allah may even be delayed until peace has been restored between people. 

It is recorded in Sahih Muslim, Hadith 2565, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘The doors of Paradise are opened on Mondays and Thursdays, and every servant who does not associate anything with Allah will be forgiven, except the one between whom and his brother is enmity. It will be said: Delay these two until they reconcile.’ 

By linking the act of apology to the higher purpose of restoring hearts, you are aligning your child with the Islamic value of reconciliation. They learn that true responsibility lies in protecting relationships, and that mending any hurt is an act of mercy that is beloved to Allah.