How do I shield my child from cultural judgement about our mixed culture? 

Parenting Perspective 

Children from mixed-cultural families may sometimes face unhelpful comments, stereotypes, or subtle judgements from their relatives, their peers, or from other members of the community. These kinds of experiences can make them feel torn between their two identities, or can cause them to question their sense of belonging. Shielding your child from this requires both proactive communication on your part, and a visible sense of unity between you and your spouse. 

Affirm Their Identity at Home 

It is important to speak positively about both of your cultures in your everyday conversations. You can say, ‘You are so blessed to have two beautiful heritages that make you unique.’ When children hear this pride being expressed at home, any judgement they may encounter outside will carry far less weight. 

Equip Them with Gentle Responses 

You can teach your child a few simple replies to have ready in case they receive an unkind comment. A simple response, such as, ‘Every family is different, and that is okay,’ can help to empower them without fuelling any further conflict. 

Present a United Front as Parents 

Never allow a sense of cultural pride from one side of your family to overshadow the other. It is important to show your child that both of your traditions are equally respected and valued in your home. 

Create Your Own Celebratory Rituals 

You can celebrate both of your traditions through your family’s food, language, and festivals. This consistent and positive exposure will help your child to feel secure in their sense of belonging to both worlds. 

Filter Out Negative Voices 

You may need to limit your child’s exposure to certain relatives or environments where this kind of judgement is a constant feature. Protecting your child’s emotional health must always take priority over the desire to appease your critics. 

By actively affirming their identity and modelling a deep sense of mutual respect in your home, you can give your child the confidence they need to stand tall in the face of any cultural judgement. 

Spiritual Insight 

Diversity as a Mercy from Allah 

Islam recognises the diversity between cultures as a mercy from Allah and does not favour one ethnicity over another. The act of shielding your child from cultural judgement is something that aligns with the Quranic vision of equality and dignity for all believers. 

Diversity as a Divine Sign 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Hujuraat (49), Verses 13: 

‘O mankind, indeed, We (Allah Almighty) have created you all from one man and one woman; and placed you amongst various nations and tribes for your introduction to each other; indeed, the best of you in the judgement of Allah (Almighty) is the one who is most virtuous…’ 

This verse reminds us that our cultural diversity is intended to be a means for mutual respect and understanding, not for judgement. 

Equality and Brotherhood Over All Backgrounds 

It is recorded in Sahih Muslim, Hadith 2564, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘The Muslim is the brother of another Muslim. He does not oppress him, nor does he forsake him, nor does he despise him.’ 

This hadith teaches that Islam forbids us to look down on others, whether it is because of their culture, their race, or their background. Instead, our faith calls us to a sense of brotherhood and mutual respect. By teaching your child these profound truths and by embodying them in your own home, you can help to shield them from the harms of cultural prejudice and can instil in them a sense of pride in their heritage as being a part of the wisdom of Allah. They will learn that their worth is not tied to the judgement of others, but is found in their faith, their character, and their righteousness.