How do I set screen rules when my older child uses devices for school but the younger one sees it as play? 

Parenting Perspective 

When one child uses a screen for schoolwork while another sees it purely as a toy, the rules can easily feel unfair to the younger sibling, breeding resentment and rivalry. The key is to communicate the different purposes of the screen clearly, while maintaining an overall sense of fairness and harmony in the home. 

Distinguish Between ‘Tool Time’ and ‘Play Time’ 

Help your younger child understand the difference by creating a clear distinction between using a screen as a ‘tool’ and using it as a ‘toy’. You could use a simple analogy, explaining, “Right now, your brother is using his tablet for his schoolwork, just like you use a workbook. Later, you can both have your ‘play time’ with it.” This language helps to frame the activity around its purpose, not just the device itself. 

Give the Younger Child a ‘Special Job’ 

During the older sibling’s ‘tool time’, you can prevent feelings of exclusion by giving the younger child their own special, non-screen task. This could be helping you with a household chore, working on a puzzle nearby, or being your ‘assistant’ for a particular activity. This makes them feel important and included, rather than simply left out. 

Maintain Universal Family Rules 

Even if the purposes of screen use differ, you can create a sense of fairness by having some universal rules that apply to everyone, regardless of age. For example, rules like “no screens during mealtimes” or “all screens are put away one hour before bed” should be consistent for the whole family. These shared boundaries reinforce that the rules are for everyone’s wellbeing. 

Offer an Engaging Alternative 

When an older child needs to complete a long homework assignment on their device, be prepared with an engaging, non-screen activity for the younger one. This proactively reduces the temptation for them to hover, complain, or interrupt. Having a plan shows that you are mindful of the younger child’s needs, not just focused on the older child’s work. 

Clear communication and thoughtful alternatives help both children understand that screen rules are based on purpose and need, not on preference or favouritism. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam teaches us to give each person what is appropriate for their needs and circumstances, while always maintaining a spirit of fairness and justice. This principle applies beautifully within the family, where different ages and responsibilities will naturally require different allowances. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Nahal (16), Verse 90: 

‘Indeed, Allah (Almighty) orders you to promote justice and benevolence; and to be generous towards (positively developing) those that are within your jurisdiction; and to prevent that which is immoral, acts of irrationality, and cruelty…’ 

This verse reminds us that justice (‘adl) is not always about treating everyone the same; it is about giving each person what is right and due to them. Explaining to a younger child why their older sibling has different responsibilities is a practical application of this wisdom. 

It is recorded in Sahih Bukhari, Hadith 2587, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘Fear Allah and be just with your children.’ 

This powerful command teaches us that being just with our children involves understanding and meeting their individual needs, while maintaining harmony and trust within the family. By explaining the different rules with wisdom and care, you are modelling this prophetic fairness in a way that honours Islamic values and supports each of your children’s unique developmental stages.