Parenting Perspective 

Focus on Personal Growth, Not Comparison 

When sibling rivalry spills over into schoolwork, it can create unhealthy tension. Parents must set gentle but firm boundaries to protect learning as a safe space. It is important to make it clear that effort and understanding matter more than speed. If one child taunts the other for finishing first, a parent can calmly intervene: ‘In our home, learning is not a race. Everyone has their own pace.’ This reinforces that schoolwork is for personal growth, not for competition. 

Protect the Sanctity of Salah 

Similarly, if rivalry affects Salah, with children arguing over who should lead, a parent must step in. Explain kindly that prayer is a time for humility before Allah, not for competing with one another. A fair and predictable system, such as alternating who leads the prayer at home, can prevent these disputes. Parents should always praise focus and sincerity over any outward performance, teaching that prayer is about the heart’s connection, not about gaining approval. 

Create ‘Competition-Free Zones’ 

It is wise to designate certain activities as ‘competition-free zones.’ A parent can clearly state, ‘In this family, your Salah and your schoolwork are your own personal journeys. There is no competition in these areas.’ By consistently enforcing this boundary, you can protect these important routines from rivalry, while still allowing for healthy, light-hearted competition in other areas like sports. 

Spiritual Insight 

Worship Must Be Sincere 

Islam emphasises that all acts of worship, including seeking knowledge, must be done with sincerity (ikhlas) for the sake of Allah alone. Competing with others for status or recognition corrupts this intention. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Bayyinah (98), Verse 5: 

‘ And they were not commanded to worship anyone except Allah (Almighty); become sincere (in following) the pathway of life (compliant with existential nature as created by Allah Almighty)…’ 

Actions are Judged by Intentions 

The prophetic tradition teaches that the value of any deed is based on the intention behind it. This is a crucial reminder for children: what matters in their prayers or studies is their own sincere effort to please Allah, not whether they appear better than their sibling. 

It is recorded in Sahih Bukhari, 6502, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘Actions are but by intention, and every man shall have only that which he intended.’ 

A Personal Journey with Allah 

By teaching your children that Salah and schoolwork are personal responsibilities between them and Allah, you guide them to focus on their own sincerity rather than on competition. This helps them to develop a deep respect for these important parts of their lives, while channelling their competitive energy into more appropriate areas.