Parenting Perspective 

Apologising without making excuses is an act of taking full responsibility for your actions and showing your child that you are genuinely sorry for the hurt you have caused. When we add excuses, it can unintentionally minimise the other person’s feelings and hinder emotional repair. A simple, sincere apology focuses solely on owning the mistake and acknowledging its impact, without any attempt to justify the behaviour. 

Be Simple and Direct 

A sincere apology should be straightforward and free from any language that tries to explain away your behaviour. Avoid phrases such as ‘I am sorry, but…’ or ‘I did not mean to…’ as they can weaken the apology. Instead, focus on the harm caused and your responsibility for it. 

You could say: ‘I am sorry for raising my voice. I know that hurt you, and I should not have done that.’ 

This apology is clear and direct. It acknowledges the specific action and its effect on your child, without offering any justifications. 

Acknowledge the Emotional Impact 

It is important to recognise not only what you did but also how it made your child feel. This shows that you understand the emotional harm that was caused and that you truly care about their feelings. 

You might say: ‘I am sorry for yelling. It made you feel upset, and that is not what I wanted.’ 

By acknowledging the emotional impact of your actions, you validate your child’s feelings and show them that they matter to you. 

Take Full, Unqualified Responsibility 

An effective apology means completely owning your mistake. Avoid shifting blame or explaining the reasons you acted a certain way. Instead, focus on your part in the situation and express your clear intention to do better. 

You can say: ‘I raised my voice, and I am sorry for doing that. I will try to control my temper next time.’ 

This shows full responsibility, with no excuses, and demonstrates a firm commitment to improving your behaviour in the future. 

Spiritual Insight 

In Islam, sincerity in an apology and taking responsibility for our actions are essential. When we apologise without making excuses, we demonstrate true humility and create an opportunity to grow from our mistakes. 

Sincere Repentance Includes Righteous Action 

The noble Quran highlights the importance of repentance and striving to do better. When we apologise sincerely, without justifying our mistakes, we are seeking Allah’s forgiveness and aiming to become better individuals. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Furqaan (25), Verse 70: 

‘Except for the one who sought repentance, and believed (in the truth), and enacted virtuous deeds; so, for those people, Allah (Almighty) shall substitute (and extinguish) their evil deeds with good deeds; and Allah (Almighty) is All Forgiving and All Merciful.‘ 

This verse teaches that true repentance is followed by positive action, which begins with a sincere, unqualified apology. 

The Power of a Sincere Apology 

The teachings of the Prophet Muhammad ﷺ remind us that true repentance involves acknowledging our mistakes without minimising them. 

It is recorded in Sunan Ibn Majah, Hadith 724, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘Whoever asks forgiveness from Allah with sincerity, Allah will forgive them and replace their sins with good deeds.’ 

This hadith shows that by apologising genuinely, we not only repair our relationships with others but also strengthen our connection to Allah Almighty through sincere repentance.