How do I reward them for resisting copying bad examples? 

Parenting Perspective 

For a child, resisting the impulse to copy negative behaviour requires significant self-control and effort. When they succeed, even in a small way, it is a moment that deserves to be acknowledged. The right kind of reward is not necessarily material; it should be something that reinforces their good choice and motivates them to repeat it. 

Offer Immediate and Specific Praise 

Children respond best to timely feedback. The moment you see them resist a negative influence, acknowledge it. This immediate praise reinforces the behaviour while it is still fresh in their mind. 

• You could say, ‘I saw that you stayed calm when your friend started shouting. That showed real strength.’ 

• Or, ‘You chose not to join in when the others were being rude, and I am very proud of you for that.’ 

Provide Emotional Rewards 

Show your approval through affection and attention, which strengthens your emotional connection and makes the reward feel personal and meaningful. 

• Offer a warm hug, a high-five, or a genuine smile of approval. 

• Share their success with another family member later on: ‘You will be so proud of what happened today. He made a wonderful choice not to copy unkind behaviour.’ 

Grant Responsibility as a Privilege 

Connect their good choices to an increase in trust and responsibility. This shows them that self-control is a sign of maturity. 

• You could say, ‘Because you showed such good self-control today, I am going to let you choose the story we read tonight.’ 

• Or, ‘I can see you are responsible enough to help me with this important job. I trust you to do it well.’ 

Use a Visual Reward System 

For younger children, a simple chart can be a highly effective and motivating tool. A visual record helps them see and track their own progress. 

• Create a chart where they earn a sticker or a star each time they successfully resist a negative example. 

• When they reach a set goal, celebrate with a small, non-material treat, such as a special family activity. 

Nurture Their Sense of Internal Reward 

As your child matures, guide them to recognise the positive feelings that come from making the right choice. This helps them transition from external rewards to internal motivation. 

• Ask them reflective questions: ‘How did it feel inside to know you made the right choice, even when it was hard?’ 

• Encourage them to notice the feelings of pride, peace, or self-respect that follow a wise decision. 

Spiritual Insight 

Guidance from the Quran 

Islam teaches that every good deed, no matter how small or unseen, is recorded and rewarded by Allah Almighty. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Zalzalah (99), Verse 7: 

‘Thus, everyone’s actions equivalent to the measurement of an atom that is good shall be observed by them (on the Day of Judgment).’ 

This powerful verse offers a profound reassurance: no good deed, no matter how small, is ever overlooked. By teaching your child that their small, quiet moments of resisting a bad influence are seen and valued by Allah, you give them a powerful source of motivation. 

Guidance from the Hadith 

Allah, in His infinite mercy, even rewards the sincere intention to do good, highlighting the value of our inner struggle. 

It is recorded in Mishkaat Al Masaabih, Hadith 2374, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘Whoever intends to do a good deed but does not do it, Allah records it for him as a complete good deed.’ 

This Hadith beautifully illustrates the mercy of Allah. Sharing this with your child can help them understand that their internal effort to resist wrongdoing is precious and rewarded, even if no one else notices.