How do I restart after I over-praised and it lost meaning? 

Parenting Perspective 

When praise is given too frequently or without genuine depth, children can become desensitised to it, causing the words to lose their impact. This often happens when parents, out of love and an eagerness to encourage, inadvertently dilute the value of their affirmations. Recognising this is the first essential step to resetting your approach. Praise is most effective when it is specific and highlights a child’s effort, kindness, or perseverance, rather than being used automatically. 

Moving Towards Intentional Praise 

To rebuild the impact of your words, it helps to pause on overused phrases like ‘good job’ and replace them with more thoughtful, specific observations. For example, instead of a generic comment, you could say: ‘I noticed how you stayed calm when that puzzle was tricky’ or ‘It was very kind of you to share your toy with your friend’. This type of specific praise restores sincerity and helps your child understand precisely which actions and qualities are being valued.¹ 

Using Alternatives Beyond Words 

You can also shift the focus from verbal praise to other forms of approval, such as a warm smile, a gentle touch on the shoulder, or simply giving your child your full, undivided attention when they speak. These non-verbal gestures provide reassurance without making praise feel routine or expected. Introducing reflective questions, such as, ‘How do you feel about finishing that task?’, is another powerful technique. It helps children develop their own inner motivation instead of constantly seeking external validation. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam teaches that words should be used with sincerity and purpose, as they have the power to nurture or harm.² 

The Power of Words in Islam 

A good word, rooted in truth, has a lasting, positive effect, much like a healthy tree that provides fruit and shelter. Praise should therefore be intentional and meaningful, never wasted. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Ibraheem (14), Verse 24: 

‘Have you not observed how Allah (Almighty) presents the example of the ‘words of purity’; they are like the untainted tree, that is rooted firmly, and its branches (tower towards) the sky.’ 

Consistency Over Exaggeration 

The prophetic teachings remind us that steady, measured actions are more beloved to Allah than grand but inconsistent ones. This principle applies beautifully to praise. 

It is recorded in Sahih Bukhari, Hadith 6464, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘Indeed, among the most beloved of deeds to Allah are those that are most consistent, even if they are small.’ 

This reminds us that steady, measured encouragement is far more powerful than excessive, exaggerated praise. By offering consistent but thoughtful recognition, parents model sincerity and help their children connect encouragement to genuine effort. This approach builds strong character and lasting confidence over time.