How do I respond when they ask for constant reassurance every hour? 

Parenting Perspective 

When a child repeatedly asks questions such as, ‘Are you sure?’, ‘Will it be okay?’, or ‘Do you still love me?’, even after you have answered, it can feel emotionally draining. You provide reassurance, they seem calm for a few minutes, and then the same worry returns. This is not a sign of defiance or simple attention-seeking; it is the pattern of an anxiety loop. Their mind is searching for a sense of certainty in a world that cannot always provide it. 

Each time you give reassurance, it soothes the feeling momentarily, but the brain learns a new rule: ‘I need to ask again to feel safe.’ Breaking this cycle means shifting your approach from providing reassurance to retraining their response. The goal is to teach your child how to find calm within themselves, rather than always needing to borrow it from you. 

Begin with Compassion, Not Frustration 

Their repeated questions come from a place of fear, not manipulation. It is important to begin by acknowledging the feeling, not just the words: ‘It sounds like your worry is feeling very strong right now.’ This validates their emotion without feeding the loop of questioning. 

Answer Once, Calmly and Clearly 

Provide one reassuring and truthful answer, and then gently close the conversational loop. For example: ‘Yes, I am sure you will be okay. And remember, you are strong enough to handle feeling a bit unsure.’ The second sentence helps to redirect the focus from your certainty to their own strength. 

Name the Anxiety Cycle Aloud 

Help your child to understand what is happening in their mind: ‘When your worry asks the same question again, it is trying to trick you into feeling safe by asking more. But true safety comes from practising calm, not from asking again.’ Teaching this awareness builds their emotional intelligence and self-control. 

Create a ‘Reassurance Plan’ Together 

Work with your child to write a short list of actions they can take when the anxiety hits. 

• I have already asked my parent once. 

• I can take three slow, deep breaths. 

• I can remind myself: ‘I am safe, even if I feel worried.’ 

• I can do something to distract myself, such as drawing, playing, or reading. 

This provides them with a structured alternative to the impulse to ask again. 

Uphold Gentle Boundaries 

When the same question comes up again, respond calmly and consistently: ‘I think that is your worry talking again. What could we do from your plan instead?’ This approach allows you to remain kind but firm, offering redirection instead of repeated reassurance. 

Model How to Manage Uncertainty 

Children learn a great deal from observing how you handle uncertainty. You can say things like, ‘I am not sure exactly how the day will go, but I will handle it when it comes.’ Modelling a calm tolerance for the unknown teaches them that confidence does not come from having absolute control, but from trust and patience. 

Spiritual Insight 

Trusting Without Needing to Know Everything 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Baqarah (2), Verse 286: 

‘ Allah (Almighty) does not place any burden on any human being except that which is within his capacity…’ 

This verse reminds us that a degree of uncertainty is part of the human condition, and that Allah Almighty gives us the capacity we need to handle it. When your child struggles with not knowing what will happen, you can remind them: ‘We do not have to know everything; we just have to trust that Allah will help us through it.’ This reframes their anxiety as an opportunity for faith, encouraging them to lean on divine care instead of needing to feel in control. 

The Prophetic Teaching on Reliance and Calm 

It is recorded in Jami Tirmidhi, Hadith 2344, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘If you rely upon Allah with true reliance, He will provide for you as He provides for the birds they go out hungry in the morning and return full in the evening.’ 

This hadith beautifully illustrates the balance between taking action and placing one’s trust in Allah. When your child seeks constant reassurance, you can help them to find a quiet moment and reflect: ‘I have done what I can. Now, I will trust that Allah will take care of the rest.’ This is a gentle reminder that peace does not come from receiving repeated answers, but from releasing worry into Allah’s protection. 

Anxious children often crave guarantees, but faith teaches us to find comfort within life’s mysteries. Each time your child pauses instead of asking the same question again, they are practising tawakkul, the act of relying on Allah’s wisdom even when they do not feel in control. 

Through your calm consistency and spiritual grounding, your child learns that the reassurance from others can fade, but the reassurance that comes from Allah never does. That quiet trust can become their lifelong anchor whenever new questions and uncertainties arise.