How do I respond when my child says, ‘But everyone else gets more screen time than me’? 

Parenting Perspective 

This classic line often comes from a genuine feeling of being left out or treated unfairly. The key is to respond with empathy, validating their feelings without allowing the comparison to dictate your family’s rules. If you dismiss their words, they will feel unheard; but if you debate the point for too long, you risk turning the conversation into a negotiation. 

Acknowledge the Feeling, Not the Comparison 

Your first step should be to calmly acknowledge their frustration. You could say something like, “I understand it feels unfair when you hear what your friends are allowed to do. It is hard to feel like you are missing out.” This simple act of validation shows you are listening and that you care about their feelings. It diffuses the emotional charge and allows for a calmer conversation. 

Frame Your Rules Around Your Family’s ‘Why’ 

Gently steer the conversation away from other families and back to your own. Explain that every family sets rules that work for their home, based on their own unique priorities and values. You can connect the limits to your shared goal of wellbeing, mentioning the importance of having time for homework, playing outside, getting enough rest, and connecting as a family. The focus should always be on what is right for your family, not on criticising the choices of others. 

Encourage a Broader Perspective 

It can be helpful to gently offer a wider perspective. You could explain that while they might know how much screen time a friend gets, they probably do not know about other rules or responsibilities in that household. Encourage them to focus on the good things in their own life rather than making a single, narrow comparison. This teaches a valuable lesson in gratitude and contentment. 

Remain Calm and Consistent 

Ultimately, your consistency is your most powerful tool. If complaining sometimes leads to rule changes, the complaints will continue because they have been proven to work. Reassure them that you have heard them, but that the family rules will remain. Over time, as your child experiences the benefits of a more balanced routine such as better sleep and more quality family time they will be more likely to accept the limits, even if they do not always like them. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam teaches us that our choices should be guided by divine wisdom and what is pleasing to Allah, not by the pressure to follow what others are doing. This principle is a powerful one to share with children who are struggling with peer comparison. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Maaidah (5), Verse 104: 

‘And when it is said to them: “Come towards that which has been revealed by Allah (Almighty) add onto His Messenger (Prophet Muhammad ﷺ);” they reply: “It is sufficient for us (to continue to practice) what we found our forefathers (believing and practising);” even though (the reality is that) their forefathers did not know anything better, and they were not guided (to the infinite truth)…’ 

This verse reminds us that blindly following the customs of others, without considering whether those customs are wise or correct, can lead us away from the best path. 

It is recorded in Sunan Abu Dawood, Hadith 4031, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘Whoever imitates a people is one of them.’ 

This hadith warns against the habit of uncritically copying the behaviour of those around us, encouraging believers instead to hold firmly to values rooted in faith. By sharing these principles, you can gently teach your child that your family’s rules are based on what is healthiest and most beneficial in the sight of Allah, regardless of what others are doing. This nurtures in them a quiet confidence to make choices based on wisdom, not just comparison.