How do I respond when my child only chases big rewards and ignores the small steps? 

Parenting Perspective 

When a child fixates on a significant final reward, they often lose patience with the small, consistent actions required to achieve it. The parental role is to guide their focus back to the value of the journey, celebrating the process rather than just the outcome. 

Reframe Rewards into Steps 

Gently reframe the main goal by breaking it down into clear, visible milestones. For example, if your child wants a new toy, explain that each day of brushing their teeth or finishing homework earns a point or a token. These tokens then slowly build towards the larger outcome. This method helps the child see the smaller steps as integral parts of the reward itself, rather than as chores to be rushed through. 

Highlight Progress and Effort 

A child needs to feel that their daily effort is seen and valued, even before the final goal is reached. Offer specific praise that acknowledges the process, such as, ‘I noticed you sat down right away to start your homework today; that kind of discipline is what matters.’ Using a visual tracker like a chart or a marble jar where small achievements visibly accumulate helps them connect with the journey and appreciate the feeling of gradual progress. 

Keep Rewards Balanced 

It is important to avoid a dynamic where every positive behaviour becomes transactional. Alongside any structured reward system, ensure you provide plenty of relational encouragement, such as hugs, shared laughter, or simply spending quality time together. This teaches your child that consistency and daily effort are meaningful in themselves, reinforcing that not every good action needs to be tied to a grand prize. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam teaches that every small deed has immense weight and significance in the sight of Allah Almighty, even if it seems minor to people. This principle is a powerful tool for teaching children the value of consistent effort. 

Valuing Effort in Islam 

Every small action, whether good or bad, is recorded and has consequences. This foundational belief helps children understand that their daily choices matter profoundly. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Zalzalah (99), Verses 7-8: 

‘ Thus, everyone’s actions equivalent to the measurement of an atom that is good shall be observed by them (on the Day of Judgment). And everyone’s actions equivalent to the measurement of an atom that is wicked shall be observed by them (on the Day of Judgment).‘ 

Sharing this verse can help a child realise that nothing is insignificant. Their small, daily actions, from a kind word to a completed chore, carry great importance and are never overlooked by Allah. 

Teaching Through Prophetic Guidance 

The Prophet Muhammad ﷺ often used simple examples to teach that even the smallest act of goodness is powerful and can have a major impact on our ultimate destiny. 

It is recorded in Sahih al Bukhari, Hadith 1417, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘Save yourself from the Hellfire even if it is with half a date, and if you cannot find that, then with a kind word.’ 

This beautiful Hadith teaches that no good deed is too small to be meaningful. Sharing this perspective can reshape a child’s mindset, helping them see that little steps are not less important but are, in fact, beloved by Allah Almighty. When their daily efforts are connected to these teachings, a child begins to learn that true success lies not just in the final prize, but in the steady deeds that build character and earn a lasting, divine reward.