How do I respond when my child asks for the answer instead of thinking? 

Parenting Perspective 

It can be frustrating when your child glances at a homework question and immediately asks, ‘What is the answer?’ instead of making an attempt to solve it themselves. This habit is often rooted not in laziness, but in self-doubt or a simple desire to get the task finished quickly. Your response in that critical moment will either reinforce dependency or begin to build the skill of independent problem-solving. 

Pause and Guide Them Back to the Question 

If you provide the answer too quickly, your child learns a powerful lesson: that their own effort is optional. Instead, it is important to remain calm and gently guide them back towards their own thinking process. 

• ‘That is a great question. Tell me what you understand about it so far.’ 

• ‘What is the very first step you think we could try?’ 

Using Questions to Prompt Their Thinking 

Answer their request for a solution with another gentle question of your own. This technique helps them to build their own problem-solving muscles without feeling as though you have abandoned them. 

• ‘What do you notice about the numbers in this problem?’ 

• ‘Which part of the question looks the most tricky to you?’ 

• ‘If you had to make a guess, what would your first step be?’ 

Praising the Process, Not Just the Result 

Shift your praise and focus away from the final result and onto their effort and thinking process. This helps them to see that persistence is valuable, not just getting the correct answer. 

• ‘I really like the way you figured out that first part on your own.’ 

• ‘Even trying a new step is a sign that you are learning and your brain is growing.’ 

Allowing Productive Struggle Before Supporting 

A small amount of productive struggle is essential for building resilience, but too much can lead to overwhelming frustration. After they have made a genuine attempt, you can then step in to offer support, a technique known as ‘scaffolding’. 

• ‘Let us try to solve the first part of the problem together, and then you can try the next part by yourself.’ 

• Child: ‘I do not know, just tell me the answer!’ Parent: ‘I will not give you the answer, but I will definitely help you find the first step. Let us think it through together.’ 

Spiritual Insight 

While it is natural for children to seek quick answers without making an effort, Islam teaches us the immense value of striving and using the abilities Allah has given us. 

The Value is in the Effort 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Najam (53), Verses 39: 

‘ And they shall be nothing (to account) for mankind except what he has undertaken.‘ 

This verse is a powerful reminder that true growth and reward come through our own sincere efforts, not through shortcuts or relying on the work of others. 

Encouraging Learning With Wisdom 

It is recorded in Mishkaat Al Masaabih, Hadith 218, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘Seeking knowledge is an obligation upon every Muslim.’ 

This famous hadith establishes that seeking knowledge is a personal obligation, not something to be taken lightly or to be outsourced to others. 

By gently redirecting your child back to their own thinking process, you are nurturing the essential qualities of independence, patience, and resilience. Over time, they will learn that effort is not a burden but a pathway to growth, both in their studies and in their faith.