How do I respond when a sibling copies and the owner loses patience? 

Parenting Perspective 

Copying is one of the most common triggers for sibling conflict. One child might be happily building, drawing, or inventing something new, only for the other to insist on doing the exact same thing. The child with the original idea often feels that their personal space has been invaded, while the ‘copier’ may simply be showing admiration or a desire to join in. Your role in this situation is to act as a peaceful mediator, teaching both children the skills of empathy and patience. 

Acknowledge Both Children’s Feelings 

Begin by naming the emotions you see in each child, without taking sides or assigning blame. This simple act of validation helps each child to feel heard and understood. 

• To the child with the original idea: ‘It can feel very annoying when you feel like your special idea is being copied.’ 

• To the child who is copying: ‘It looks like you really like what your sibling is making and you want to try it too.’ 

Teach Positive Alternatives to Copying 

Guide the child who is copying towards more respectful ways of showing their interest. This teaches them a more positive way to engage, preventing the situation from descending into constant conflict. 

• ‘Instead of just starting, you could ask first: “Can I try making one like that too?”’ 

• ‘How about you take inspiration from that idea, but add your own special twist to it?’ 

Support the Owner’s Need for Space 

It is also important to respect the original child’s need to create something independently from time to time. This approach helps to create a balance between a child’s need for creative freedom and the importance of family fairness. 

• ‘It is perfectly okay to want to have your own project sometimes. Let us find you a special corner of the table just for your work.’ 

Reinforce Patience in the Moment 

When you see tempers beginning to rise, it is wise to pause the activity for a brief moment. 

• You can say, ‘We need to use calm and respectful voices before we can continue with this activity.’ 

• You can encourage a ‘reset’ by suggesting they both take a few deep breaths or have a brief break from the activity. 

• Child 1: ‘Stop copying me!’ Child 2: ‘But I just like what you are doing!’ Parent: ‘I hear you both. One of you needs your own creative space, and the other wants to join in. Let us agree that you can finish this part of your project alone, and then your sibling can have a turn to try afterwards.’ 

Spiritual Insight 

Disputes over seemingly small things, like a single toy or a drawing, are in fact valuable opportunities to teach children the important skills of patience, fairness, and self-control. Islam encourages us to seek justice and peace in all our affairs, even in matters that seem minor. 

Patience With Others’ Actions 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Furqaan (25), Verses 63: 

‘ And the true servants of the One Who is Most Beneficent are those who wander around the Earth with humility; and when they are addressed by the ignorant people, they say: “Peace be unto you”.‘ 

This verse reminds us that responding to frustrating situations with calm and peaceful words is a sign of true servanthood to Allah. 

The Prophet ﷺ on Brotherhood 

It is recorded in Riyadh Al Saliheen, Hadith 244, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘A Muslim is the brother of a Muslim. He does not wrong him, nor does he abandon him, nor does he despise him.’ 

This hadith teaches us that siblings have a duty to treat one another with fairness, dignity, and respect, even when they are feeling frustrated. 

By pausing the conflict without snapping, you are modelling the crucial Islamic values of justice, mercy, and self-control. Your children learn from your example that conflicts can be resolved fairly and kindly, a lesson that will shape both their character and their faith.