How do I respond when a child ‘borrows’ a sibling’s money? 

Parenting Perspective 

When a child takes money from a sibling without asking, it is rarely just about greed. Often, it reflects curiosity, poor impulse control, or a weak understanding of boundaries. It is important to pause before reacting, as anger can lead to fear, and fear prevents honesty. 

See Beyond the Act to the Intention 

Begin by asking calmly, ‘I noticed some money is missing, can you help me understand what happened?’ This neutral question invites a truthful response rather than resistance. Even if the child denies it at first, your composed tone builds the foundation for a sincere conversation later. Once the truth is established, avoid labelling them a ‘thief’. Instead, explain that taking what is not yours, even within the family, is serious because it damages trust. Help them understand that trust is fragile and, once cracked, takes time to mend. 

Guide Repair, Not Just the Return 

Simply forcing the child to return the money does not complete the lesson. Encourage active restitution, which should include an apology and returning the money respectfully. You might also suggest a small act of service for their sibling. This moves the focus from punishment to reconciliation and shows that wrong actions can be made right through humility and kindness. You could say, ‘When we hurt someone, we fix it by doing something good for them. What could you do to make your brother feel better?’ 

Build Habits That Prevent Repetition 

To protect both children and their relationship, create small systems that strengthen honesty and respect for property. 

• Keep savings in designated envelopes or boxes. 

• Teach both children to ask before using each other’s belongings. 

• Introduce simple earning opportunities, such as chores or small responsibilities, to teach the value of money. 

Most importantly, praise honest confessions. When a child admits to wrongdoing, respond with, ‘I am proud that you told the truth. That was brave.’ This turns honesty into an admired quality, associating truth with safety, not danger. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam builds character through truthfulness and Amanah (trustworthiness). Even small acts of dishonesty can harden the heart if they are ignored. Parents must guide their children to understand that Allah Almighty values integrity more than any material possession. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Anfaal (8), Verse 27: 

‘O you who are believers, do not ever be pretentious (in following the commandment) of Allah (Almighty) and His Prophet (Muhammad ﷺ); and do not misappropriate what has been entrusted upon you, whilst you know (the consequences of such actions).’ 

This verse directly calls believers to protect what they are entrusted with. When a child takes a sibling’s money, it is a small betrayal of trust, and these moments shape their moral foundation. Teaching children that trust is a form of worship helps them see honesty as part of their faith, not just a family rule. Encourage your child to make tawbah (repentance) for even small mistakes, reminding them that Allah Almighty loves those who correct their wrongs. 

The Prophet Muhammad ﷺ taught about the supreme importance of honesty. 

It is recorded in Sahih Bukhari, Hadith 6094, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘When honesty is lost, then wait for the Hour.’ 

This Hadith connects truthfulness to the survival of moral life. If honesty disappears, society begins to collapse, and that decay starts with the smallest of deceptions. When you address your child’s action gently but firmly, you are not just solving a household issue; you are defending their soul from a future of deceit. Explain to them: ‘Allah Almighty loves those who are honest, even when they make mistakes. When we return what is not ours, He forgives us and blesses us with peace in our hearts.’ This turns correction into spiritual growth. 

The goal is not to shame the child but to shape their understanding that honesty is a strength. By helping your child make amends with kindness and connecting their actions to the concept of Amanah, you nurture both their conscience and their Imaan. Every restored trust at home becomes a shield of faith, teaching them that the wealth of the soul is always greater than the wealth of the hand.