How do I respond to weekly notes about calling out in class that never improve? 

Parenting Perspective 

Receiving another note from the teacher about your child calling out in class can feel defeating. You may have spoken to your child several times and coached them on patience, yet the pattern continues. Before assuming stubbornness, it helps to understand that impulse control and social awareness develop slowly. Calm consistency and empathy can shape self regulation far more effectively than frustration ever will. 

Understand the Root of the Behaviour 

Calling out in class is not always a sign of disrespect; it often stems from impulsivity, excitement, or anxiety. Some children genuinely struggle to pause before speaking, while others may seek reassurance through attention. Observe when it happens most: is it during subjects they enjoy, fear, or find boring? The pattern itself can provide the key to helping them change. Instead of asking, ‘Why did you do it again?’ try, ‘What was happening just before you called out?’ This shift turns discipline into a dialogue, helping your child to reflect on their behaviour rather than defend it. 

Separate the Correction from Shame 

Frequent negative feedback from school can make a child feel hopeless. Rather than amplifying that feeling, combine accountability with empathy. 

‘I can see that you find it hard to stop yourself when you are excited. That is okay, we will work on it together.’ 

By naming both the problem and your support, you show them that mistakes are part of learning, not labels that define them. 

Practise the Skill Instead of Just Preaching It 

Impulse control grows through repetition, not just through reminders. You can practise at home using small games that mimic classroom situations. 

• Play a ‘wait for your turn’ game where they can only respond after a signal. 

• Practise short moments of silence before speaking. 

• Reinforce their efforts with immediate praise: ‘You waited for your turn, that shows real control.’ 

Turning this into a form of practice rather than a punishment helps to build confidence instead of defensiveness. 

Spiritual Insight 

A child’s struggle with impulse control offers parents a sacred test of patience. In Islam, consistent guidance through calm repetition reflects mercy, the very quality by which Allah Almighty nurtures His creation. 

Patience in Correction in the Noble Quran 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Shuraa (42), Verse 43: 

‘And for the person who is patient and forgiving, indeed, (these acts are derived from) higher moral determination.’ 

This verse reminds us that patience in the face of repeated error is a sign of true strength. When you correct your child calmly rather than reacting in frustration, you are modelling the same sabr that Islam honours. Your restraint teaches your child that correction can coexist with compassion, and that love is not withdrawn when mistakes recur. 

Composure and Steadiness in the Teachings of the Holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ 

It is recorded in Al Adab Al Mufrad, Hadith 534, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘When Allah loves a servant, He tests him, and if he endures with patience, He chooses him; and if he is content, He brings him near.’ 

This Hadith beautifully connects patience during recurring challenges with divine selection and nearness to Allah Almighty. For a parent facing the same school reports again and again, it reframes the frustration as a spiritual opportunity and a test of calm endurance. Guiding your child through repeated mistakes with patience is not weakness; it is a form of strength that brings divine closeness. Each moment of composure becomes both a lesson for your child and a quiet act of worship. 

Each new report from school is not a setback, but another opportunity to model prophetic patience. Your calm response plants in your child the belief that they can improve, that mistakes are not final, and that discipline, when delivered with compassion, becomes a form of mercy. Over time, this balance of firmness and faith will help your child to internalise responsibility. They will learn that their words, like their actions, hold weight, and that control begins with calm.