Parenting Perspective 

Few things feel quite as disheartening as spending time and effort cooking a meal, only for your child to look at the plate and declare, ‘I do not want this.’ It is natural to feel disrespected and frustrated, especially after the effort you have put in. However, rejecting food is often a normal developmental stage, tied to developing preferences, their mood at that moment, or even a simple need to exert some control over their world. How you respond in that moment can determine whether mealtimes become a battleground or an opportunity to teach gratitude and patience. 

Acknowledge Their Feeling Without Taking it Personally 

A child’s rejection of food is often impulsive. Instead of reacting with personal hurt or anger, it is more effective to calmly acknowledge their statement. This simple act keeps the atmosphere calm and prevents the situation from becoming combative. 

• ‘I hear that you do not feel like eating this tonight.’ 

• ‘It looks like you were hoping we were having something different.’ 

Setting Gentle but Clear Boundaries 

You are not required to become a short-order cook. It is important to offer choice within reasonable and firm limits. This approach shows gentle firmness and respects their choice, without resorting to punishment or coercion. 

• ‘This is the dinner we are having tonight. You do not have to eat it, but I will not be making something different.’ 

• ‘You are welcome to eat what you can from this meal. If you are still hungry later, a piece of fruit will be available before bed.’ 

Encouraging Respectful Words 

Use this as an opportunity to guide your child on how to express dislike in a polite and respectful manner. This small correction helps them to develop good manners and respectful communication. 

• ‘It is okay not to like every single food, but in our family, we always use kind words. Instead of saying you do not want it, you can simply say, “No thank you.”’ 

Keeping Mealtimes Warm and Positive 

Even if your child chooses not to eat the meal, try to maintain a relaxed and positive atmosphere at the table. Eating your own meal cheerfully provides a positive role model and helps to normalise the food for them over time through repeated, low-pressure exposure. 

• Child: ‘I do not want this!’ 

• Parent: (Calmly) ‘I understand you do not feel like eating it. This is our dinner for this evening. You do not have to finish it, but please remember to use kind words at the table.’ 

Spiritual Insight 

Food is a profound blessing (rizq) from Allah, and teaching our children to show gratitude for it is a fundamental part of their moral and spiritual development. 

Gratitude for Provision 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Ibraheem (14), Verses 7: 

‘And (remember) when your Sustainer made this declaration; (saying that): “If you show gratitude, I (Allah Almighty) will indeed, amplify them for you (provisions and sustenance); however, if you become ungrateful, then indeed, My punishment is Meticulous (in execution)”.‘ 

This verse is a powerful reminder that showing gratitude for the blessings we are given invites more blessings, while ingratitude and rejection can diminish them. 

The Prophet ﷺ on Food Manners 

It is recorded in Jami Tirmidhi, Hadith 1818, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘The believer eats in one intestine, and the disbeliever eats in seven intestines.’ 

Scholars have explained that this hadith encourages believers to eat with moderation, contentment, and gratitude, rather than with greed, complaint, or excess. 

By responding patiently and setting respectful boundaries, you teach your child that food is more than just a matter of personal taste; it is a blessing to be honoured. They learn that gratitude, respect, and patience at the dinner table are not just good manners, but are a reflection of good character and faith.