Parenting Perspective 

As children grow, particularly into their pre-teen and teenage years, they might react to witnessing their parents’ affection with awkward humour or jokes. This behaviour often stems from their own embarrassment or curiosity about relationships, not from a place of disrespect. The goal is to respond in a way that normalises healthy affection (within the bounds of haya) and prevents their jokes from creating shame or division. 

Respond with a Calm and Gentle Tone 

If your child makes a joke, it is important to avoid scolding them or overreacting, as this can amplify their awkwardness. A calm and light-hearted reply, such as, ‘It is normal and good for parents to care for each other; that is what makes a family feel loving’, helps to set a relaxed tone. By remaining calm, you reduce their need to cover their discomfort with more humour. 

Set Clear Limits on Disrespectful Humour 

If a joke crosses the line into rudeness or mockery, it is important to gently but firmly redirect them. You could say, ‘I know you might find this funny, but in our family, we always speak respectfully about our parents’. This teaches them the difference between light-hearted humour and disrespectful comments. 

Use It as a Gentle Teaching Moment 

You can use this as an opportunity to explain, in age-appropriate language, how the bond between parents benefits the entire family. For example, you might say, ‘When Mum and Dad are close and supportive of each other, it makes our whole home feel safer and happier for everyone’. Linking your affection back to their own sense of security helps to reframe the situation in a positive and meaningful way. 

By balancing a calm response with clear boundaries and gentle teaching, you can address the situation without causing shame. This approach guides your child towards greater maturity in how they understand and respect family relationships. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam encourages the expression of affection and mercy within a marriage, but it also calls for dignity and respect in all speech. Teaching children to acknowledge their parents’ closeness respectfully is an important part of instilling the Islamic values of haya and good manners (adab). 

Marital Affection as a Divine Sign 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Rome (30), Verse 21: 

‘ And amongst His Signs (of the infinite truth) are that He (Allah Almighty) created for you, your (matrimonial) partners from your species so that you may find tranquillity from them; and designed between you love, tolerance and kindness…’ 

This verse teaches us that the affection between spouses is a sacred sign from Allah Almighty and a source of family-wide stability. It is a blessing to be appreciated with gratitude, not something to be met with mockery. 

The Link Between Faith and Good Character 

It is recorded in Jami Tirmidhi, Hadith 278, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘The most perfect of the believers in faith are those best in character, and the best of you are those who are best to their women.’ 

While this Hadith highlights kindness to women, its principle extends to both spouses. It teaches us that expressing kindness and affection within a marriage is a reflection of excellent character and strong faith, and our children should be guided to view it with the same respect. 

By responding to awkward jokes with calmness, boundaries, and gentle teaching, you model dignity and compassion. Your child learns that marital closeness is a blessing from Allah Almighty and that respectful language is essential for protecting the harmony of the family.