How do I remind them of progress, not just medals? 

Parenting Perspective 

For children, medals and trophies often feel like the ultimate measure of success. They symbolise recognition, pride, and a sense of belonging. But when a child focuses only on collecting awards, they may overlook the real growth that is happening within them, such as their improved skills, resilience, and confidence. If medals become their only motivator, a lack of them can quickly lead to discouragement or a desire to give up altogether. As a parent, your role is to gently shift their focus away from outcomes and towards their progress, so they learn to value the journey, not just the final reward. 

Acknowledge Their Desire for Medals 

Begin by validating their feelings rather than dismissing their ambition: 

• ‘I know you really wanted to win a medal this time. It shows how much you care about doing well.’ 

• ‘It is okay to feel a bit sad when you do not get the prize you were hoping for.’ 

By acknowledging their emotions, you prevent them from bottling up their frustration and show that you understand. 

Highlight Their Growth With Clear Examples 

A child may not always notice how far they have come unless you point it out to them. Try to be as specific as possible: 

• ‘Last month you could only swim two laps of the pool, but now you can do six without even stopping.’ 

• ‘Do you remember how nervous you used to be before reading aloud? Today you stood up there so confidently.’ 

These concrete examples help them to see their progress as something real and meaningful in its own right. 

Use Milestones Instead of Medals 

You can help to shift their focus from competition to their own personal milestones: 

• Time how long it takes them to complete a task and celebrate together when they beat their own personal best. 

• Keep a simple chart of the new skills they have learned, such as new football techniques or spelling words they have mastered. 

• Create small family rewards, like a special movie night, to celebrate their effort and dedication, rather than just for winning medals. 

This helps to build their excitement around their own progress rather than just waiting for external recognition. 

Praise Their Effort, Not Just the Outcome 

The language you use matters a great deal. Instead of only saying, “Well done for winning,” you can say: 

• ‘I am so proud of how much sincere effort you put in today.’ 

• ‘I saw how you kept going even when it was getting tough, and that shows real strength of character.’ 

This teaches them that their perseverance is a valuable quality in and of itself. 

Teach Them to Celebrate Others Without Envy 

Help your child to understand that another person’s success does not take away from their own progress: 

• ‘It is wonderful that your friend won. You are also improving so much in your own way.’ 

• Encourage them to say “Well done” to their peers, which helps to model kindness over a purely competitive spirit. 

This helps to balance their personal ambition with a sense of humility and respect for the achievements of others. 

Share Stories of Growth Without Medals 

Show them examples where the progress mattered more than the final award: 

• Talk about athletes who lost for years before they finally achieved success. 

• Mention students who improved steadily over time and eventually excelled. 

• Share personal stories from your own life where you valued your personal growth more than any public recognition. 

These stories can remind them that while medals are temporary, the progress they make is something they will carry with them for life. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam reminds us that the true value of our deeds lies not in the outward recognition we receive, but in our sincerity and consistency. Medals might capture a single moment of achievement, but Allah Almighty rewards the sincere effort that other people may not even see. By teaching this, you can help to anchor your child in a source of motivation that is lasting, rather than depending on fleeting trophies. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Zalzalah (99), Verses 7–8: 

‘Thus, everyone’s actions equivalent to the measurement of an atom that is good shall be observed by them (on the Day of Judgment). And everyone’s actions equivalent to the measurement of an atom that is wicked shall be observed by them (on the Day of Judgment).’ 

This verse reminds us that no sincere effort ever goes unnoticed by Allah Almighty. This is a reminder that even their smallest steps forward are seen and recorded, regardless of whether the world chooses to recognise them with medals. 

It is recorded in Sahih Muslim, Hadith 2564, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘Allah does not look at your appearance or wealth but at your hearts and your deeds.’ 

This hadith shows that our sincerity and our effort are what matter more than the outward results. For a child, this means that their genuine progress in trying, learning, and improving is far more valuable than any piece of metal they could hang around their neck. 

By grounding them in these teachings, you help your child to see that progress itself is a reward. They will learn that medals are merely symbols, but their personal growth is the substance. Over time, they will grow into resilient young believers who value consistent effort, sincerity of intention, and steady improvement, secure in the knowledge that every step of their journey is seen, recorded, and rewarded by Allah Almighty.