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How do I regulate myself when I feel like slamming a door or throwing something out of frustration? 

Parenting Perspective 

It is not only anger when your body wants to communicate your emotions by slamming a door or hurling something across the room. It is an excess of signals from your nervous system. Instead of repressing the emotion at that time, you should refocus it. To stabilise your body, try holding onto something cold, such a metal spoon or a chilly surface, or putting your palms together tightly. These behaviours provide a physical release without causing mental distress. Another way to describe your desire is to say it out loud in a low, grounded voice: I want to slam something, but I am going to stomp my foot once instead. This honours the charge, names the emotion, but changes the result. With consistent practice, your mind comes to understand that strong emotions do not have to burst into the world. Regulation is prudent rerouting, not suppression. 

Spiritual Insight 

Even the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ experienced intense anxiety, sadness, and sorrow. However, his responses never resulted in harmful deeds. Islam values self-control as transformed strength rather than as denial. Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran, in Surah Al Shuraa (42), Verse 43: 

And for the person who is patient and forgiving, indeed, (these acts are derived from) higher moral determination. “

Here, patience is a sign of strong resolve rather than passivity. The holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ provided us with practical methods for effectively managing our anger. It is recorded in Sunan Abu Dawood, Hadith 4782: 

When one of you becomes angry while standing, he should sit down. If the anger leaves him, well and good; otherwise, he should lie down. 

This Hadith is significant because it acknowledges that emotion is a physical entity that requires a physical transformation. Change your position, then. Enter the water. Cover your chest with your hands. Do not use your rage as a weapon, but let it be seen. It is spiritual courage, not weakness, when you decide not to slam the door. Allah Almighty sees the storm you hid, even if your child does not. And there is a legacy of mercy in that constraint. 

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