How do I reduce “Is this right?” checks every two minutes during homework?

Parenting Perspective

When a child repeatedly asks, ‘Is this right?’ during homework, their question is usually driven by anxiety. They are seeking reassurance to avoid making mistakes, not because they are unable to think for themselves. If you answer every single check, you risk fuelling dependence, but if you shut them down completely, you risk discouraging their effort. The goal is to build a routine where they learn to check their own work first, use your help only when necessary, and feel safe enough to continue working without needing constant approval.

Provide a ‘Check Before You Ask’ Tool

Create a visible, three-step card and place it on your child’s desk. You can label it ‘Check Before You Ask’.

• Step 1: Reread the instruction.
• Step 2: Check your work against an example.
• Step 3: Decide: Does it match?

Only after they have completed these three steps can they ask you for help. This simple process slows down the impulse to seek reassurance and helps to build independence.

Use ‘Ask Tokens’ to Limit Questions

Give your child two or three tokens at the start of each homework session. Each token represents one chance to ask you, ‘Is this right?’ Once the tokens have been used up, they must finish the page on their own. At the end, you can review the work together. This system creates a healthy balance: they still get your support, but they also learn to save their questions for when they truly need help.

Introduce an ‘Independence Timer’

Set a timer for five minutes. During that time, your child must keep working without asking for your input. When the timer ends, you can do a quick check-in with them. Gradually, you can extend the time to ten, and then fifteen minutes. The predictable breaks will reassure them that help is coming, while also teaching them the valuable skill of stamina.

Adjust Your Answering Style

Instead of giving a simple yes or no, you can redirect your child to think for themselves.

• ‘What part of your answer makes you think it is right?’
• ‘Show me how you have checked it so far.’
• ‘If I were your teacher, what would I see here?’

This approach makes your response instructional, not just reassuring.

Praise Their Effort, Not Just the Accuracy

It is important to highlight the process your child has followed, not just whether the answer is correct.

• ‘You reread the instruction all by yourself. That is very responsible.’
• ‘You checked your work against the example before asking. That shows great independence.’

By valuing the method, you help to reduce their urge for constant approval.

Spiritual Insight

Islam values striving with sincerity, not a constant fear of getting things ‘exactly right’ in front of others. Our children need to know that their worth does not depend on producing mistake-free work, but on their honest effort and their steady improvement over time.

Divine Guidance Follows Sincere Striving

This verse is a reminder that divine guidance follows sincere effort. When your child works with sincerity and keeps trying, even if they make mistakes, Allah is with them. The process of striving is, in itself, a beloved act.

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Ankaboot (29), Verse 69:

‘And those people that endeavour (to please) Us (Allah Almighty); so, We (Allah Almighty) shall indeed, guide them (to those pathways) that lead to Us; and indeed, Allah (Almighty) is with those who are benevolent (in their actions).’

The Reward for Sincere Effort

This hadith shows that sincere effort is rewarded, even if the final result contains errors. Teaching your child that Allah values their effort and honesty more than a flawless answer can help them to relax into the process of learning.

It is recorded in Sunan Abu Dawood, Hadith 3574, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said:

‘When a man exerts himself to give a judgment and is correct, he has two rewards; when he exerts himself and errs, he has one reward.’

By creating a routine of self-checks, using tokens, and offering calm feedback, you are guiding your child towards greater independence and resilience. Spiritually, you are teaching them that mistakes are not disasters, but opportunities to learn with sincerity. Over time, they will grow confident enough to try first, check their own work, and learn to trust that both you and Allah value their effort more than perfection.