How do I rebuild trust after repeated broken promises to stop? 

Parenting Perspective 

When your child repeatedly promises to stop a certain behaviour, such as sneaking screens or breaking rules, and then does it again, your trust in them can naturally wear thin. You may feel disheartened, and even sceptical of their every apology. However, rebuilding trust after it has been repeatedly breached is not about an instant belief in your child; it is about a structured consistency. Children need to see that your trust in them can be rebuilt through their actions, not just through their words, and that your forgiveness does not mean that you have forgotten the boundaries that you have set. 

Acknowledge the Pattern with Calmness 

It is a good idea to start with the truth, not with an accusation. 

‘You have said that you will stop doing this before, but it has happened again. I am not angry, I just need to see what will be different this time.’ 

This approach helps to keep the conversation anchored in a sense of accountability, rather than in guilt. When your tone of voice stays steady, you show them that your trust is not rebuilt by emotion, but by reliability. 

Explain That Trust Must Be Earned 

You can tell your child plainly: 

‘I believe that you want to change, but I will need to see that change before I can trust you again. This is not a punishment, it is a matter of fairness.’ 

This teaches them that a broken trust is not irreparable, but that it does require proof through time and consistent honesty. You are giving them a path back to your trust, not a life sentence of your doubt. 

Set Clear Steps for Rebuilding Trust 

You can outline what restoring your trust will look like in a series of small, achievable actions. 

• Checking in with you without being reminded. 

• Following the rules for a set number of days. 

• Being honest with you, even about small slip ups. 

When your expectations are made concrete, the idea of trust becomes something that is measurable. 

Spiritual Insight 

In Islam, keeping our promises, wafa bil ‘ahd, is a sacred trust, and breaking them can weaken both our faith and our integrity. Yet Allah Almighty also opens endless doors for repentance, or tawbah, teaching us that while our failures can break a trust, our sincerity can restore it. Your role as a parent is to mirror this divine balance of justice and mercy. 

Faithfulness to Promises in the Noble Quran 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Israa (17), Verse 34: 

‘…And fulfil all your promises, as indeed, you will be questioned about all the promises that you have made (in this life).’ 

This verse highlights that our promises are not just casual words; they are moral contracts that we make before Allah Almighty. Helping your child to understand this can transform a household rule into a spiritual duty, to mean what they say and to honour it through their sincere effort. 

Redemption Through Sincerity in the Teachings of the Holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ 

It is recorded in Jami Tirmidhi, Hadith 2499, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘All the sons of Adam are sinners, and the best of sinners are those who repent often.’ 

This Hadith helps to soften the ground beneath the idea of accountability. It reminds your child, and you, that the path to reform is not one of perfection, but of persistence in repentance. What matters most is not how many times a person falls, but how sincerely they are able to return to the right path. 

When your trust has been broken, anger can be an easy response, but a focus on growth is harder, and much more healing. Your consistency can show your child that integrity is not proven in the promises that we make, but in our follow through. Each calm correction and each new chance to try again becomes a reflection of your mercy and your wisdom.