Parenting Perspective 

Children can sometimes misinterpret the affection between their parents as a form of competition, worrying that the love given to a spouse reduces what is left for them. This insecurity can manifest as clinginess, sulking, or interrupting moments of closeness. The goal is to reassure them that family love is expansive, not limited, and that a strong love between parents actually strengthens the love that the children receive. 

Offer Verbal Affirmation 

Regularly remind your child that your love for them is separate and unconditional. A simple, clear statement like, ‘Our love for each other just makes our love for you even stronger’ can ease their hidden worries. 

Involve Them in Moments of Togetherness 

Occasionally invite your children into affectionate moments, such as a family hug or a shared laugh. This helps them to feel included in the circle of love, rather than feeling excluded by it. 

Model a Balanced Approach 

Make sure to spend dedicated one-on-one time with your child, as well as dedicated time with your spouse. This consistency teaches them that both bonds are important and secure. 

Use Child-Friendly Analogies 

You can explain the expansive nature of love with a simple analogy that a child can understand. For example, explain that love is like a candle: lighting another candle from its flame does not diminish the first one, it only multiplies the light. 

Demonstrate Stability 

Show warmth, kindness, and teamwork with your spouse in your daily routines. When children observe the respect and care between their parents, they feel safer and more loved themselves. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam teaches that family bonds are built on mercy, affection, and a sense of balance. Love within a family is not a competition; it is a network of care in which each relationship supports and strengthens the others. By demonstrating this principle, parents can help their children to root their own sense of security in the values of their faith. 

A Quranic Reminder on Marital Affection 

The Quran teaches that the love between spouses is a sign from Allah, designed to bring peace and tranquillity into the family home, not rivalry. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Rome (30), Verse 21: 

‘ And amongst His Signs (of the infinite truth) are that He (Allah Almighty) created for you, your (matrimonial) partners from your species so that you may find tranquillity from them; and designed between you love, tolerance and kindness; indeed, in this there are Signs (of the infinite truth) for the nations that have realisation.‘ 

This reminds us that spousal love is a divinely-placed source of peace for the whole family. 

The Prophetic Teaching on Expansive Love 

The Prophet Muhammad ﷺ taught that a sign of true faith is the ability to love others generously and without rivalry. 

It is recorded in Sahih Bukhari, Hadith 13, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘None of you truly believes until he loves for his brother what he loves for himself.’ 

This principle teaches us to nurture an expansive love, showing our children that love for a spouse does not reduce love for them, but strengthens all the bonds in the family. 

By reassuring your children through loving words and consistent actions, you can show them that affection between parents is not a threat but a blessing. They will learn that in Islam, love multiplies rather than competes, and that every bond in the family is strengthened by mercy and faith.