How do I react when my child stomps off after being told to wait? 

Parenting Perspective 

It can feel like a personal rejection when your child stomps off angrily after being asked to wait. The temptation to respond with frustration or a lecture on respect is understandable. However, this reaction is often not a sign of disrespect, but an expression of a child’s feeling of powerlessness. The stomp or glare is an immature outlet for strong emotions. Your role is not to suppress their reaction, but to guide them toward calm self-control. 

Remain Grounded in Your Own Calm 

When a child storms away, your most effective response is to remain calm. Take a slow breath and resist the urge to chase or shout after them. Instead, speak in a steady, even tone: ‘I can see you are upset about waiting. I will be here when you are ready to talk calmly.’ By staying composed, you are modelling the very self-regulation you want them to develop. Children learn self-control by observing the adults around them. 

Avoid a Power Struggle 

Following your child to demand immediate obedience will likely escalate the situation. The goal is not to ‘win’ the argument, but to restore a sense of peace. Allow them a few minutes to cool down before reconnecting gently. When you sense they are calm, you can approach them and say, ‘You were very upset earlier, were you not? Waiting can be hard, but next time let us try taking a deep breath instead of walking away.’ This approach shows firmness without hostility; your authority remains, but your compassion leads. 

Teach Them Emotional Language 

Help your child to find the words for what they are feeling. You can ask gently, ‘What was so difficult about waiting this time?’ Giving their frustration language helps to transform a reactive behaviour into a reflective dialogue. Over time, they will learn that expressing their feelings respectfully gets them heard far more effectively than a dramatic reaction. 

Reinforce Calm Choices 

When your child manages to wait or responds calmly in a similar situation, praise their effort immediately: ‘You waited without walking away just now. That showed real strength.’ Positive reinforcement builds the habit of self-control far more effectively than punishment. It helps your child to realise that calmness earns connection, while anger only creates distance. 

Keep the Rules of Waiting Predictable 

Children are more likely to accept waiting when they know what to expect. Be consistent in how you divide your attention and manage turns, reminding them gently, ‘You will get your turn next, just like always.’ This predictability reduces the insecurity that is often the true trigger behind these outbursts. 

Spiritual Insight 

Anger and impatience are natural human impulses, but Islam teaches that true strength lies in controlling them. A parent’s calm response to a child’s anger is not weakness; it is leadership guided by mercy. Every moment you choose gentleness over a sharp reaction, you are teaching your child ihsan (excellence in conduct) and sabr (patience). 

The Strength of Restraint in the Quran 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Shuraa (42), Verse 43: 

‘And for the person who is patient and forgiving, indeed, (these acts are derived from) higher moral determination.’ 

This verse reminds us that patience in the face of provocation is a mark of profound moral strength. When a parent responds to a child’s defiance with calm resolve, they are modelling this determination, turning a moment of conflict into a lesson in dignity. 

The Prophetic Link Between Control and Faith 

It is recorded in Sunan Abu Dawood, Hadith 4777, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘The one who suppresses anger when he is able to act on it, Allah will call him before all of creation on the Day of Resurrection and let him choose from the Hur al-‘Ayn whomever he wants.’ 

Explanation: This hadith beautifully connects emotional control with a great spiritual reward. When you remain patient during your child’s emotional storm, you are practising the same restraint that Allah Almighty promises to honour. Through your calm presence, your child learns that strength is not found in reacting first, but in choosing peace when it matters most. 

Each stomped foot is a cry for balance, not an act of rebellion. When you meet it with steadiness, you turn these moments of tension into lessons of trust. Over time, your child will learn that waiting is not a rejection, and that calmness is not weakness, but maturity in motion. Through your patience and fairness, you are teaching not just behaviour, but faith in action: that peace is always stronger than pride, and that every calm response brings both the parent and the child closer to the mercy of Allah Almighty.