How do I react when my child pulls on me to interrupt my chat with others? 

Parenting Perspective 

When a child tugs at your arm or clothing while you are talking to someone, it is easy to feel irritated. Beneath that physical pull, however, is usually not rudeness, but a child’s simple way of saying, ‘I need you, and I do not know how to wait.’ The pull is physical because they lack the emotional language to express their impatience. Your goal is to turn that tug into a moment of calm teaching, showing them that they are seen and loved, even when they must learn to wait. 

Understand the Emotion Behind the Tug 

Children often seek physical connection when they feel excluded or anxious. For them, pulling on your sleeve is a simple reminder: ‘Do not forget me.’ Viewing their action through this lens helps you respond with patience rather than frustration. This inner calm allows your tone to remain steady and warm, making your correction more effective. 

Use a Gentle but Clear Boundary 

When your child tugs on you, avoid reacting with a sharp pull or a scolding tone. Instead, make gentle eye contact, place your hand softly over theirs, and say quietly, ‘I see you. I am talking right now, and I will listen to you next. Please wait beside me.’ This short, reassuring phrase validates their need for attention while reinforcing that respect means waiting. Over time, your consistency will teach them that they do not need to pull to be noticed. 

Prepare Them Before Social Situations 

Before meeting with others, explain what you expect in clear, kind words: ‘If I am talking to someone, please wait quietly until I am finished. You can hold my hand or touch my arm gently to show you need me, but please do not pull.’ You can practise this at home with short role-plays, praising their effort every time they wait, even for a few seconds. 

Establish a ‘Waiting Signal’ 

Agree on a small, private cue between you and your child. For instance, they can place a hand on your arm to show they need to speak. You can then respond with a nod or a gentle squeeze to acknowledge them without interrupting your conversation. This subtle communication builds trust and eliminates the need for pulling. 

Reinforce Positive Waiting 

Once you have finished your conversation, turn to your child with your full attention and appreciation. Say, ‘Thank you for waiting while I finished talking. That was very polite.’ Positive reinforcement makes patience feel rewarding, whereas a harsh correction can often increase clinginess and anxiety. 

Model Respectful Behaviour 

Let your child see you practise the same manners you ask of them. Show them how you wait before speaking, avoid interrupting others, and give your full attention to whoever is talking. Your own restraint becomes their most powerful and silent lesson in adab (refined manners). 

Spiritual Insight 

In Islam, respect, patience, and consideration for others are forms of worship. Teaching your child to wait calmly while you are speaking reflects the principle of adab, which is central to a believer’s character. This is not simply about enforcing silence; it is about learning humility and empathy in action. 

The Quranic Value of Consideration 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Hujuraat (49), Verse 11: 

‘Those of you who are believers, do not let a nation ridicule another nation, as perhaps it may be that they are better than them…’ 

While this verse directly addresses mockery, its underlying principle teaches the broader value of consideration: giving others space, time, and dignity. Helping your child wait patiently while others speak is part of this same ethic. It shows them that honouring another person’s turn is a way of honouring Allah’s creation. 

The Prophet’s ﷺ Example of Gentle Guidance 

It is recorded in Sahih Bukhari, Hadith 6125, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘Make things easy for the people, and do not make it difficult for them, and make them calm (with glad tidings) and do not repulse (them).’ 

This hadith reflects the Prophet’s ﷺ method of teaching: with ease, patience, and gentleness. When your child interrupts or pulls on you, responding calmly rather than harshly follows this Prophetic wisdom. You are not only teaching manners but are also embodying mercy, showing that kindness can correct without causing hurt. 

These moments are not just social lessons; they are spiritual opportunities. Each time you respond with softness instead of irritation, your child learns that respect and love can coexist. 

Over time, they will discover that waiting does not mean being ignored; it means trusting that their turn will come. By guiding them with patience, you are teaching them the deeper rhythm of Islamic manners: that every respectful pause and quiet moment of self-control is an act of worship reflecting the gentleness of faith itself.