How do I react when money goes missing in small amounts again? 

Parenting Perspective 

When money keeps disappearing in small amounts, it can strike deeply at the trust within a family. You may feel angry, disappointed, or even betrayed, especially if this is not the first time it has happened. But before you react, you should remember that the repeated small theft of a child is usually not about greed, but about an impulse, a sense of curiosity, or a need. Sometimes it is a way of testing boundaries, and at other times it can be a form of emotional compensation for a lack of attention, control, or comfort. The goal is to teach accountability with compassion, so that your child can learn that although a trust can be broken, it can also be rebuilt. 

Respond Without Humiliation 

You should avoid a public confrontation or a harsh accusation. Instead, you can approach your child calmly and in private. 

‘I have noticed that some money has gone missing again. I need us to talk about this honestly.’ 

Your tone of voice matters more than your words. Staying composed signals that while the behaviour is a serious one, you still see your child as being redeemable. A shame that is driven by fear will rarely lead to honesty, but compassion can. 

Create a Consequence That is Clear and Restorative 

You should require a practical act of repair from your child, such as returning the money, doing some extra chores, or writing a note of apology. You should make the restitution visible, but not humiliating. 

‘You will need to replace what was taken and you can help me to track our spending for a while so that we can begin to rebuild our trust.’ 

You should try to avoid grounding your child or shaming them verbally; instead, you can focus on their integrity and sense of ownership. The lesson to be learned is that a sense of responsibility can mend the damage that deceit causes. 

Examine the Emotional Roots of the Behaviour 

Repeatedly taking things often reflects an unmet need, for independence, affection, or validation. You can ask your child calmly: 

‘What is it that makes it hard for you to ask me for money before you take it?’ 

Sometimes, the act of stealing can represent a desire for control, rather than for the money itself. Addressing the feeling that lies behind the action can be more effective at preventing a repetition of the behaviour than a punishment. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam teaches that trust, or amanah, is sacred and that even small breaches of that trust can carry a moral weight. Taking what is not rightfully yours may seem like a minor act, but it can darken the heart and weaken our faith. Yet Islam also teaches us about mercy, repentance, and the power of tawbah, of turning back to Allah Almighty with sincerity and with a change in our actions. 

The Sanctity of Trust in the Noble Quran 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Mu’minoon (23), Verses 8-9: 

‘And those people who are responsible in the execution of all matters entrusted to them and promised by them. And those people that secure their prayers (from any frivolous thoughts).’ 

This verse connects honesty in our worldly matters with our spiritual discipline. Teaching your child that respecting what belongs to others is a part of their faith, not just a set of rules, can help to nurture a moral integrity that will last them beyond their childhood. 

Upholding Trust in the Teachings of the Holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ 

It is recorded in Sunan Abu Dawood, Hadith 3534, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘Return the trust to the one who entrusted you, and do not betray the one who betrays you.’ 

This Hadith reflects the very essence of accountability. It teaches that a believer’s dignity lies in keeping a trust, even when others have failed to do so. Sharing this with your child can help them to see honesty not as a fear of punishment, but as an act of honour before Allah Almighty. When they restore what they have taken, they are not just fixing their behaviour; they are cleansing their heart. 

When small amounts of money go missing repeatedly, your calm firmness becomes the teacher. Through a steady focus on telling the truth and on restitution, you can help to transform a sense of secrecy into a matter of conscience. You can show your child that their mistakes can be mended, but only through honesty and a sense of responsibility.