Parenting Perspective 

Parental love is one of the most powerful forces in a child’s life. However, if it is not guided by humility and spiritual awareness, that love can sometimes slip into worldly pride, such as boasting about a child’s achievements, or a sense of ownership, where we treat them as extensions of ourselves rather than as independent souls entrusted to us by Allah Almighty. True love is nurturing without control and guiding without possession. Parents can protect their love from pride and ownership by reframing their words, intentions, and daily habits so that their children feel cherished as an amanah (a trust), not as a possession. 

Separate Love from Pride in Achievements 

Instead of saying something like, “Your success makes me look like a better parent than others,” you can say, “Alhamdulillah, Allah Almighty has blessed you with this ability.” This approach teaches children that their achievements are divine gifts from Allah, not badges of familial superiority. 

Reframe Children as an Amanah, Not Property 

It is helpful to remind both yourself and your child of this fundamental truth: “You belong to Allah Almighty first, and He has trusted me to care for you for a short time.” This perspective helps to soften an overly strong attachment and keeps parental love grounded in humility, not in a desire to control. 

Show Joy in Their Character, Not Their Status 

Make a conscious effort to celebrate your child’s kindness, patience, or honesty more than you celebrate their grades or trophies. This shows them that your love for them is anchored in their timeless inner qualities, not in their temporary worldly recognition. 

Practise Humility in Public Praise 

When other people compliment your child in your presence, you can respond with a simple, “Alhamdulillah, Allah is very generous.” This helps to keep all of your hearts free from arrogance and gently reminds your child that all praise and thanks ultimately belong to the Giver of all gifts. 

Give Space While Remaining Present 

Allow your children to make their own age-appropriate choices while you continue to guide them gently from the side. This prevents your love from suffocating their independence and turning into a sense of ownership, showing them instead that respect is a key part of true care. 

Through these simple but conscious steps, children can learn that true parental love is steady, humble, and rooted in worship, ensuring it never becomes prideful or possessive. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam teaches us that our children are a sacred trust. Our love for them is tested, and the purest form of that love is one that is free from worldly pride and attachment. 

The Quran on Children as a Test 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Anfaal (8), Verses 28: 

‘And be aware that indeed, your wealth and your children can be a source of tribulation for you; and indeed, in front of Allah (Almighty) shall be a great reward (for him).’ 

This verse reminds us that our children are not possessions for us to boast about, but are instead a sacred trust (amanah) that tests our patience, gratitude, and humility. True love lies in raising them for the sake of Allah, not for the sake of our own pride. 

The Hadith on Protecting Children from Ownership 

It is recorded in Jami Tirmidhi, Hadith 1952, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘A father gives his child nothing better than good manners.’ 

This Hadith shows that the greatest legacy a parent can leave for their child is not a sense of ownership or a list of worldly achievements, but the gift of a noble character. Parents who model humility and service are reminding their children that love is a sacred responsibility. In this way, their love becomes a form of worship, free from the stains of worldly pride and firmly rooted in the desire to please Allah Almighty.