How do I prepare a script for shutting down rumours without sounding self-righteous? 

Parenting Perspective 

Navigating rumours can be a difficult social challenge for children and teenagers. When gossip begins to circulate about a classmate or neighbour, many children feel a social pull to listen, repeat what they have heard, or laugh along with the group. Even those who want to stop it may hesitate, fearing they will be labelled as ‘bossy’ or self-righteous. The goal is to give your child a script that allows them to stop gossip in a way that is firm yet humble, enabling them to protect another person’s dignity without making their friends feel judged. 

Explain Why Rumours Are Harmful 

Begin by explaining the real-world impact of spreading unverified stories. You can say: ‘Rumours can feel exciting because they make people curious, but they almost always hurt someone’s feelings. Even if you did not start the rumour, repeating it is what keeps the harm alive.’ This helps to frame the act of stopping a rumour not as shaming their peers, but as an act of protecting someone from harm. 

Provide Neutral and Non-Accusatory Scripts 

Teach your child short, calm phrases they can use to set a boundary without pointing fingers or sounding superior. 

• ‘I do not think it is fair to talk about someone who is not here to speak for themselves.’ 

• ‘We do not really know if that is true, so it is probably best we do not spread it.’ 

• ‘Let us change the subject, this does not feel very kind.’ 

Emphasise a Warm and Gentle Tone 

A script is only effective if it is delivered with the right tone. Encourage your child to say these phrases calmly and gently, perhaps with a slight shrug, as if they are simply redirecting the conversation rather than delivering a lecture. This approach helps them to remain approachable and friendly. 

Teach Subtle Redirection Strategies 

Sometimes, a direct confrontation feels too risky or difficult for a child. In these cases, a simple and neutral distraction can be just as effective. 

• ‘Hey, that reminds me, what did you think about the new game?’ 

• ‘Speaking of that, did you manage to finish the assignment for tomorrow?’ 

This strategy allows them to change the focus of the conversation without confronting anyone directly. 

Reinforce the Skill Through Practice and Praise 

Practise these scripts with your child in mock group situations at home. When they later tell you about a time they successfully changed the subject or stopped a rumour, affirm their actions: ‘That was a really strong and kind thing to do. You protected someone’s dignity without making your friends feel judged.’ 

Spiritual Insight 

Guarding the Tongue Is a Sign of God-Consciousness 

Islam makes it abundantly clear that believers must be exceptionally careful with their speech, as words have the power to cause deep and lasting harm. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Qaaf (50), Verses 18: 

‘(Man) is unable to utter a single word, without him being closely observed (and all actions being recorded), who is always present.’ 

This verse serves as a powerful reminder that every word we speak is recorded, even those said casually in a group. A parent can use this to teach: ‘When you choose to stop a rumour, you are not only protecting your friend, but you are also protecting yourself from having harmful words written down in your own record.’ 

The Prophet’s ﷺWarning About Spreading Everything Heard 

The holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ warned his followers against the careless habit of passing on every piece of information or gossip they came across. 

It is recorded in Sahih Muslim, 5, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘It is enough of a lie for a man to relate everything he hears.’ 

This hadith shows that spreading rumours, even without verifying them, is a serious matter. A child can be reminded: ‘When you refuse to repeat something you have heard, you are protecting yourself from falsehood and following the beautiful example of our Prophet ﷺ.’ 

By linking this social skill to the teachings of the Quran and Sunnah, children learn that stopping a rumour is not about sounding superior, but about living with humility and integrity.