How do I praise effort without ignoring the need for accuracy or safety? 

Parenting Perspective 

It is vital to encourage a child’s perseverance, but it is equally important to ensure they understand that effort alone is not always enough, especially where accuracy or safety is concerned. The goal is to nurture a resilient mindset without overlooking the importance of care and precision. This balance teaches children to be both brave in trying and wise in their execution. 

Acknowledge Effort First, Then Guide 

A balanced approach begins with acknowledging the effort before gently guiding them toward improvement. This lets your child feel proud of their attempt while recognising that skill and caution also matter. For instance, if a child is attempting a task that could be unsafe, you might say, ‘I love how hard you tried to cut that fruit by yourself. Let me show you a safer technique so you can keep practising.’ This validates their intention while introducing a necessary standard. 

Blend Warmth with Constructive Feedback 

While you do not want to discourage your child with harsh correction, it is a disservice to let mistakes slide when precision is required. A helpful method is to first celebrate the effort, then provide clear, constructive feedback. For example, after they finish their homework, you could say, ‘You worked so hard on that maths problem. Let us check the last step together to make sure it is perfect.’ This approach teaches children that learning involves both persistence and attention to detail, showing them that trying hard and doing things correctly goes hand in hand. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam values both the sincerity of one’s effort and the responsibility one takes in their actions. Praising a child’s hard work while reminding them of the importance of doing things correctly helps align their motivation with accountability. This teaches the crucial lesson that sincere effort must be paired with care, diligence, and a commitment to excellence, particularly when the safety or rights of others are involved. 

Striving for Excellence (Ihsan) 

The goal of any effort should be ihsan (excellence), which involves doing something in the best possible way. Praising effort is the start, but guiding a child toward correctness and thoroughness is what helps them achieve this higher standard. The Quran teaches us that Allah Almighty looks for the best of deeds, not just any deed. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Mulk (67), Verses 2: 

‘It is He (Allah Almighty) Who has created mortal expiration and life so that you may be tested…’ 

This spiritual principle is reinforced by the guidance of the Prophet Muhammad ﷺ, who linked love for Allah with the perfection of one’s work. 

It is recorded in Sahih Muslim, Hadith 2637a, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘Verily, Allah loves that when anyone of you does a job, he should perfect it.’ 

By praising effort and then guiding toward accuracy, parents nurture children who are both resilient and responsible. They learn not only to try their best but to excel in a manner that is pleasing to Allah Almighty.