How do I praise a teen’s online choices without invading privacy? 

Parenting Perspective 

Praising a teenager for their positive online behaviour requires a delicate balance. Excessive monitoring can feel intrusive, while a complete lack of oversight may leave them without necessary guidance or encouragement. The most effective approach is to notice and affirm what they willingly share, rather than prying into their private digital spaces. 

Respect Privacy While Acknowledging Effort 

If your teenager mentions a positive decision, such as refusing to join a negative group chat or choosing to follow beneficial content, acknowledge it directly and respectfully. A simple statement like, ‘I am proud of how thoughtfully you handled that situation,’ shows them that you value their judgement without needing to look over their shoulder. 

Focus on Principles, Not Policing 

Another effective method is to praise choices indirectly through general conversations about values. Instead of commenting on specific posts or private messages, you can appreciate the underlying qualities you observe. Phrases such as, ‘I respect how you are thinking carefully about what influences you,’ or ‘I can see you are making mature decisions about how to use your time,’ communicate recognition without crossing personal boundaries. 

When trust is established, teenagers are more likely to share their online experiences voluntarily. By treating their digital life as part of their growing independence, parents can reinforce responsibility while keeping communication warm and collaborative. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam emphasises the great importance of guarding privacy and treating others with dignity and respect. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Noor (24), Verse 27: 

‘ O those of you who are believers, do not enter houses (of other people) except your own homes; unless you have permission from them, (and when you do) say Salaams upon the inhabitants…’ 

Although this verse was revealed in the context of physical homes, scholars extend its wisdom to the principle of respecting personal boundaries in all forms. Just as the privacy of a home must be honoured, so too should the private digital spaces of young people as they mature. 

It is recorded in Sahih al-Bukhari, Hadith 6136, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘Whoever believes in Allah and the Last Day should speak good or remain silent.’ 

This profound teaching guides parents to frame their praise thoughtfully, focusing on affirming good choices without unnecessary intrusion. By recognising and encouraging positive values rather than monitoring specific details, parents nurture trust and respect. This approach shows teenagers that Islam honours both guidance and privacy, building a confidence and a strong bond that they will carry into adulthood.