How do I model Sabr when children move slowly or forget things? 

Parenting Perspective 

When a child is dawdling over putting on their shoes, taking a very long time to finish their homework, or has forgotten an instruction you have just repeated, it can certainly test a parent’s patience. Yet it is in these exact moments that your response will teach them far more than your reminders ever could. Sabr is not simply about waiting without complaint; it is an active choice to embrace calmness, self-control, and persistence. By modelling Sabr during these moments of delay and forgetfulness, you can show your child that their mistakes and their slowness are a normal part of learning, and are not reasons for them to lose your love. 

Reframe the Situation in Your Own Mind 

Instead of thinking to yourself, ‘They are ignoring me again,’ try to consciously reframe the thought to, ‘They are still in the process of learning responsibility.’ This simple internal shift can help your frustration to fade, allowing you to maintain a healthier and more patient perspective. 

Use Gentle Reminders, Not Sharp Reprimands 

Rather than snapping with a phrase like, ‘How many times do I have to tell you?’, it is more effective to use calm and steady cues. For example, you could say, ‘Let us try that again. What was it I asked you to bring me?’ This calm repetition models patience for your child while gently reinforcing their memory. 

Create Systems That Support Their Learning 

You can set your child up for success by creating practical aids that reduce your own stress and help them to remember. This could include visual checklists for the morning, a clear picture-based routine for after school, or simple reminder notes. These systems can help them to succeed without the need for constant scolding. 

Model Calm Breathing Before You Correct 

Before you speak, take a moment to pause and take a visible, slow breath. Your children will notice the way that you manage your own frustration in these small moments, and they are likely to imitate this practice when they face their own challenges. 

Acknowledge and Praise Their Efforts 

When your child does remember something more quickly, or acts more promptly than usual, it is important to acknowledge their progress. A simple, encouraging comment like, ‘Alhamdulillah, you remembered to do that today. That shows me how much you are growing,’ will help to strengthen their positive habits far more than criticism ever could. 

By consistently choosing calm and steady guidance, you are providing your child with a living example of Sabr. This not only helps them to improve their own habits, but also teaches them that patience itself is an act of strength and love. 

Spiritual Insight 

The Quran on Patience as a Pillar of Success 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Asr (103), Verses 2–3: 

‘Indeed, mankind shall surely (remain in a state) of) deprivation (moral deficit), except for those people who are believers and undertake virtuous acts; and encouraging (cultivating within themselves and with one another the realisation and dissemination of) the truth and encouraging (cultivating within themselves and with one another the realisation and accomplishment of) resilience.’ 

This powerful surah shows us that Sabr is not a sign of weakness, but is in fact one of the essential pillars of success in the sight of Allah. Reminding yourself of this verse during moments of daily frustration can help to transform these parenting challenges into opportunities to strengthen your own faith. 

Prophetic Guidance on Patience as the Greatest Blessing 

It is recorded in Sahih Bukhari, Hadith 1469, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘Whoever remains patient, Allah will make him patient. Nobody can be given a blessing better and greater than patience.’ 

This hadith highlights that patience is itself a divine gift that we can ask for and cultivate. By modelling it in the small, daily trials of parenting, such as when our children are being slow or forgetful, we are demonstrating that Sabr is a form of worship in action. This turns our ordinary frustrations into profound lessons of mercy, strength, and faith that our children will carry with them throughout their lives.