How do I model repair words after a short temper between siblings? 

Parenting Perspective 

When siblings clash, tempers can flare quickly — raised voices, unkind words, or slammed doors. As a parent, your role is not only to calm the storm but also to teach the art of repair. Children need to see that mistakes in speech can be mended with respectful, caring words. By modelling this yourself, you show them how to rebuild connection after conflict. 

Name the Problem Without Shame 

Avoid harsh labels like “You’re always rude”. Instead, state the behaviour simply: 

• ‘You spoke harshly to your brother just now.’ 

• ‘That sounded hurtful.’ 

This points out the issue without crushing self-worth. 

Model Repair Words Yourself 

Show them what respectful repair sounds like. Use short, clear phrases: 

• ‘I’m sorry I snapped. I should have spoken more gently.’ 

• ‘I care about you, and I didn’t mean to hurt you.’ 

When you model this, children learn that apologies are not weakness but strength. 

Guide Children to Practise Repair 

Coach them in calm words they can use: 

• ‘Can you try saying, “I’m sorry for shouting, I’ll try again”?’ 

• Encourage tone as much as words, since kindness in the voice matters. 

Reinforce the Value of Repair 

Notice and praise when they use repair words: 

• ‘I liked how you apologised quickly — that showed respect.’ 

• ‘See how much calmer it feels when you make peace?’ 

Child 1: snaps at sibling Parent: ‘That sounded hurtful. Let’s repair it. Try saying, “I’m sorry I spoke like that.”’ Child 1: mutters apology Parent: ‘Well done for fixing it. That shows strength.’ 

Spiritual Insight 

Repairing relationships is a deeply Islamic value. Family ties are meant to be nurtured, and healing words after conflict reflect the mercy and humility encouraged in faith. 

Reconciliation is Better 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Hujuraat (49), Verses 10: 

‘Indeed, the believers are brothers (to each other); so, make peace with your brothers; and seek piety from Allah (Almighty) so that you may receive His Mercy.‘ 

This reminds us that repairing relationships is not optional but a duty that brings Allah Almighty’s mercy. 

The Prophet ﷺ on Mercy Between Siblings 

It is recorded in Sunan Abu Dawood, Hadith 4919, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘Shall I not tell you something more excellent in degree than fasting, prayer, and charity?’ They said: ‘Yes, O Messenger of Allah.’ He said: ‘Reconciling between people, for indeed causing division is the shaver.’ 

This teaches us that repairing relationships after conflict holds immense value in Islam, even greater than many outward acts of worship, because it preserves unity and love. 

By modelling repair words, you show your children that losing your temper is human, but making amends is strength. Over time, they learn that respect, humility, and reconciliation are what truly hold family bonds together.