Parenting Perspective 

Children absorb their lessons about respect not from lectures, but from watching how their parents interact with each other every single day. A child who grows up in a home where their parents speak kindly, listen fairly, and genuinely value one another will naturally adopt those same behaviours themselves. Conversely, an environment of constant interruptions, dismissiveness, or subtle put-downs can quietly teach a child that disrespect is a normal part of relationships. The act of modelling respect is about consciously creating a visible culture of honour and gentleness in your home. 

Speak with Courtesy 

Make a habit of using daily phrases like ‘please,’ ‘thank you,’ and ‘I appreciate you,’ when you are addressing your spouse in front of your child. These small but important courtesies demonstrate to your child that respect is not something that is reserved only for outsiders, but is a quality that belongs first and foremost inside the family. 

Handle Disagreements in Private 

If you happen to disagree with a decision your spouse has made, you can say, ‘Let us talk about this a little later,’ instead of correcting them in front of your child. Protecting each other’s dignity in this way shows your child that respect does not disappear in moments of conflict. 

Model Patient Listening 

Try to give your spouse your full attention when they are speaking to you by maintaining eye contact and not interrupting them. Children are quick to notice when their parents are truly listening to each other, and they will often mirror this important skill in their own interactions. 

Highlight Each Other’s Strengths 

You can say aloud to your child, ‘Your father is amazing at helping you with your homework,’ or, ‘Your mother has such a wonderful sense of patience when you are feeling upset.’ This kind of public praise helps to build your child’s respect for both of their parents and can prevent any feelings of favouritism. 

Show Warmth and Respect Through Your Actions 

The quality of respect is not only a verbal one. By sharing your chores fairly, supporting each other when you are tired, or expressing affection in front of your child, you are reassuring them that respect is woven into the fabric of your daily life. 

When you are able to consistently demonstrate these habits, your child can grow up learning that respect is not optional, but is in fact a foundational value, something that is expressed through our tone, our words, and our actions every single day. 

Spiritual Insight 

Respect as an Act of Worship 

Islam places a tremendous amount of importance on the quality of respect within a marriage, tying it directly to the strength of our faith. A home that is built on mercy and kindness is a reflection of our obedience to Allah and provides our children with the best possible example of Islamic character. Mutual respect between parents is not just a matter of etiquette; it is a form of worship. 

The Command to Live with Kindness 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Nisa (4), Verses 19: 

‘…And cohabit with them with the positivity (of kindness), for if you dislike them, then perhaps it may be that in your (tolerance to the) dislike of something, may cause for you (to receive) something even better from Allah (Almighty).’ 

This verse reminds us that even when differences of opinion arise, spouses are commanded by Allah to maintain a state of kindness and respect, as goodness can often lie in places where we do not expect to find it. 

True Piety Is Shown in the Home 

It is recorded in Jami Tirmidhi, Hadith 3895, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘The best of you are those who are best to their families, and I am the best of you to my family.’ 

This hadith teaches us that our true excellence in faith is not measured by our public acts of piety, but by the level of respect and kindness that we are able to show in our own homes. 

Passing Down Faith Through Your Example 

Children often form their initial understanding of Islam through what they see being lived out daily in their household. By showing patience, using fair and kind speech, and expressing appreciation for one another, parents can become walking, talking teachers of Islamic values. In this way, the quality of respect is not only spoken of, but is embodied, helping children to grow into respectful and God-conscious adults. Mutual respect between parents is therefore about so much more than creating harmony in a marriage; it is an act of mercy, a fulfilment of a divine command, and a beautiful legacy to be passed on to the next generation.