Parenting Perspective 

When a child talks back, it can easily stir feelings of anger and make you want to snap in return. However, responding with harshness only fuels a negative cycle, teaching them that disrespect is met with more disrespect. By modelling calmness, you show your child that it is possible to remain steady and firm even when you are frustrated. Over time, they learn that self-control is a far more powerful tool than sarcasm or shouting. 

Pause Before Replying 

Take a deliberate breath or a brief pause before you respond to your child’s words. This moment of silence not only helps to calm your own rising emotions but also signals to your child that you are in control of yourself and are thinking before you speak. 

Keep Your Voice Low and Steady 

Respond with a tone that is firm but gentle. A simple, clear statement like, ‘I do not accept that tone. Please try again respectfully,’ is very effective. A calm voice carries undeniable authority without escalating the tension in the room, teaching your child that respect is conveyed through both words and delivery. 

Model the Behaviour You Expect 

If your child snaps at you, you can calmly reframe their sentence for them. For example: ‘Instead of saying, “I do not care,” a more respectful way to say that is, “I need a break right now.”’ By offering a positive alternative, you are actively guiding them towards better communication skills. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam places great emphasis on patience, dignity, and measured speech, especially within family life. The way a parent handles disrespect is a powerful teaching moment that shapes how their child will respond to conflict in the future. 

Responding to Harshness with Peace 

The Quran praises the true servants of the Most Merciful, who respond to provocation and harshness not with more of the same, but with words of peace. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Furqaan (25), Verses 63: 

‘ And the true servants of the One Who is Most Beneficent are those who wander around the Earth with humility; and when they are addressed by the ignorant people, they say: “Peace be unto you”.‘ 

The Virtue of Patience with Others 

The prophetic tradition teaches that having patience with the challenging behaviour of others is a sign of a stronger and more praiseworthy faith. 

It is recorded in Jami Tirmidhi, Hadith 2507, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘The believer who mixes with people and is patient with their harm is better than the one who does not mix with people and is not patient with their harm.’ 

By modelling calm responses, you embody the patience and restraint that Islam values. Your child learns that respect and self-control are not just household rules, but are virtues that are lived out daily, shaping both their manners and their faith.