Parenting Perspective 

While lighthearted sibling teasing is a common feature of many homes, a line is crossed when it escalates into cruelty, becoming harmful and damaging to relationships. When one child begins to mimic or intensify cruel behaviour, it is crucial to intervene immediately. Your role as a parent is to help your children differentiate between playful banter and genuinely hurtful behaviour, and to guide them towards interactions that foster kindness, empathy, and respect. 

Acknowledge the Shift from Teasing to Cruelty 

It is essential to recognise when teasing is no longer healthy—specifically, when it begins to undermine self-esteem, hurt feelings, or create genuine conflict. 

• Address the Change: When you notice the shift, calmly intervene and label the behaviour. For example, ‘I have noticed that what started as a joke has now turned into hurtful words. That is not how we treat each other in this family.’ 

• Separate Playfulness from Harm: Make the distinction clear. You might say, ‘It is fine to joke with each other, but it is never acceptable if it makes someone feel sad or small.’ 

Teach Empathy and Respect for Each Other 

Use this situation as an opportunity to teach your children the profound impact their words have on one another. 

• Encourage Perspective-Taking: Ask the child who was teasing to consider the other’s feelings. A simple question like, ‘How would you feel if someone said that to you?’ encourages them to step into their sibling’s shoes and develop empathy. 

• Promote Healthy Communication: Equip both children with the language to express their feelings without resorting to cruelty. Teach them to say, ‘I do not like it when you say that,’ instead of retaliating with a hurtful comment of their own. 

Set Boundaries and Consequences 

To manage the behaviour effectively, you must establish clear, consistent boundaries that both children understand. 

• Enforce Clear Rules: Set a non-negotiable rule that cruelty will not be tolerated. For example, ‘We do not call each other names or put each other down in this house. If that happens, you will need to take a break from each other until you can speak kindly.’ 

• Consistency is Key: Consistently enforce these rules every time a line is crossed. Calmly remind them of the boundary and the consequence. This predictability is what teaches them the seriousness of the rule. 

Foster Positive Sibling Relationships 

Proactively encourage a dynamic of cooperation and kindness to build a positive foundation that can withstand moments of conflict. 

• Encourage Teamwork: Create opportunities for your children to work together on projects or activities that require cooperation. This helps them build mutual respect and appreciate each other’s strengths. 

• Praise Kind Behaviour: When you witness your children treating each other with kindness, support, and respect, offer immediate and specific praise. Positive reinforcement shows them the immense value you place on a loving sibling bond. 

By addressing cruelty as soon as it appears and consistently teaching empathy, you can guide your children towards building a relationship based on mutual care and consideration. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam is unequivocal in its prohibition of any form of speech that harms another person’s dignity. Mockery and ridicule are seen as deeply corrosive to relationships. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Hujuraat (49), Verse 11: 

‘…Do not let a nation ridicule another nation…’ 

This verse is a direct command to refrain from hurtful teasing and mockery. It teaches us that all people, especially family members, have a right to be spoken to with respect, and that protecting each other’s feelings is a spiritual responsibility. 

A true believer is a source of safety for others, not a source of harm. 

It is recorded in Sahih Bukhari, Hadith 10, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘A Muslim is the one from whose tongue and hand others are safe.’ 

This foundational hadith defines a Muslim by their impact on others. Our words and actions should bring comfort and security, not pain. When we teach our children to use their words to uplift rather than to diminish, we are teaching them a core principle of their faith, guiding them to build relationships that reflect the compassion and consideration that pleases Allah.