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How do I make sure my emotional wounds do not affect how I parent my child?

Parenting Perspective

It takes a great deal of self-awareness to parent someone who has emotional traumas. Start by observing when your responses seem more significant than what your child is doing; these are frequently indications of past trauma. Get better at waiting before answering. ‘I need a moment to respond calmly,’ you might say. Seek assistance via prayer, journaling, or counselling. Healing entails being willing to recognise, fix, and develop; it does not need perfection. Being kind to your inner world is the first step in protecting your child.

Spiritual Insight

Islam honours healing and self-accountability. Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Shams (91), Verses 7–10: ‘And by the soul and how it is designed (for infusion into the body). Thus, we have designed (the soul with discretion) for wickedness and piety without any doubt. Success is for the one who developed purity (of the self), and indeed, failure is for the one who embraces (the darkness of ignorance and immorality).’ Purification includes recognising pain and preventing it from passing on. It is recorded in Sahih Bukhari, Hadith 6116, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said, ‘A man said to the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ, ‘Advise me! ‘The holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said, ‘Do not become angry.’ The man asked (the same) again and again, and the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said in each case, ‘Do not become angry.’ He taught restraint and inner work as essential to peaceful relationships, including parenting.

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