Parenting Perspective 

It is inevitable that children will sometimes have their feelings hurt by a careless word, a harsh tone, or a simple misunderstanding, even in the most loving of homes. Parents, too, will sometimes slip up in moments of stress. The act of repairing these hurt feelings is not a sign of weakness; it is in fact a powerful way of showing your children that true love includes accountability, humility, and mercy. When this act of repair is framed as a form of worship, it becomes a way of pleasing Allah while at the same time healing the hearts in your family. This helps children to learn that a mistake in a relationship is not the end of the story, but is instead an opportunity to grow closer to one another and to their faith. 

Acknowledge the Hurt with Clarity and Honesty 

Instead of offering a vague or general apology, it is more effective to be specific. Saying, ‘I am sorry that my words upset you. I should have spoken more kindly,’ is a good example. Specifically naming the mistake in this way helps to teach your child the importance of responsibility and honesty. 

Link the Apology to Gratitude and Mercy 

You can follow your apology with a phrase that links the act of repair to a sense of gratitude. A comment like, ‘Alhamdulillah that Allah always gives us another chance to love each other better,’ helps to frame the process of repair as a blessing, not a burden. 

Pair Your Words with Actions of Repair 

Show your child that an apology is about more than just words by following it up with an act of care, such as a warm hug, a reassuring smile, or an offer to spend some quiet time together. Children learn from this that the goal of repairing a relationship is to restore a feeling of closeness. 

Make Sincere Apology a Family Habit 

You can help to normalise the act of apologising within your home. When one sibling has upset another, you can guide them to apologise sincerely and perhaps add a short dua, such as, ‘Ya Allah, please forgive me and help me to be a kinder brother/sister.’ This helps to make the act of repair a part of your family’s daily faith practice. 

Model That Mistakes Are Redeemable 

When parents are able to apologise sincerely to their children, it shows them that having authority does not mean that one has to be perfect. It shows that true strength lies in being humble enough to repair our relationships. This helps to build trust and resilience in your family bonds. 

By treating the act of emotional repair as a meaningful act of worship, you are giving your children a lifelong tool to heal their relationships in a way that honours Allah. 

Spiritual Insight 

The Quranic Command to Reconcile 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Hujuraat (49), Verses 10: 

‘Indeed, the believers are brothers (to each other); so, make peace with your brothers; and seek piety from Allah (Almighty) so that you may receive His Mercy.’ 

This verse shows that the act of reconciliation between believers is not optional, but is in fact a duty of our faith. Repairing hurt feelings within the family is therefore an act of obedience that invites the mercy of Allah into our homes. 

Prophetic Guidance on Restoring Relationships 

It is recorded in Sahih Bukhari, Hadith 6077, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘It is not permissible for a man to forsake his brother for more than three days, each of them turning away when they meet. The better of the two is the one who greets the other first.’ 

This hadith teaches us that the act of restoring relationships quickly is something that is beloved in Islam. Parents can use this to show their children that repairing hurt feelings is not just a matter of good manners, but is a form of worship that earns the pleasure of Allah. By practising this consistently, families can build homes of mercy where faith and love always walk hand in hand.