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How do I know if my child’s tantrums need professional help?

Parenting Perspective

Tantrums are a typical aspect of early childhood, especially as kids learn to manage intense emotions and understand limits. Many emotional outbursts happen when a child is hungry, tired, overwhelmed, or having difficulty adjusting to changes. Parents might feel concerned when tantrums happen often, are very intense, or seem excessive for the circumstances. If your child’s tantrums go on longer than what is typical for their age, involve harmful actions towards themselves or others, or appear to worsen despite steady parenting efforts, it might be beneficial to consult a professional. The emotional growth of children can differ significantly. However, if tantrums continue past preschool age or if a child experiences severe meltdowns in daily situations, it may indicate underlying issues that need careful consideration and support. 

Expert advice can help parents identify underlying issues, like sensory challenges, anxiety, or delays in emotional control, and recommend strategies that are appropriate for the child’s developmental level. The goal is not to categorise the child, but to gain a deeper understanding of them. Early intervention can provide both the child and the parent with resources that promote harmony, bonding, and lasting emotional well-being. It is essential to consider how changes in the home environment, stress, or inconsistency can significantly impact a young child’s behaviour. Asking for assistance is not an indication of weakness; rather, it demonstrates a commitment to self-care and accountability.

Spiritual Insight

Islam strongly encourages the pursuit of knowledge and assistance, particularly when it contributes to positive outcomes and overall wellbeing. Parents shouldn’t feel pressured to have all the answers by themselves. Allah Almighty emphasises the significance of trusting in Him while also utilising the resources we have in this life. Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Talaaq (65), Verse 3: ‘…And whoever is reliant on Allah (Almighty), then He is Sufficient for him (in every way)…’ Trusting in Allah Almighty involves making thoughtful decisions while also engaging in prayer and patience. When a parent looks for help for their child, it shows trust and compassion. The noble Quran emphasises the significance of caring and nurturing. Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Tahaa (20), Verse 44: ‘But speak to him in a polite manner, so that he may realise, or be in awe (of what you are relating to him).’ Even when correcting or guiding, gentleness is the path recommended. This applies to our children too. It is recorded in Sunan Ibn Majah, Hadith 3689, that holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ stated: ‘Allah is Gentle and loves gentleness in all things.’ Gentleness means recognising when a child may require more than just discipline; they might need assistance, healing, or professional guidance. Islam acknowledges and does not overlook emotional or mental difficulties. Asking for assistance when feeling overwhelmed is not a sign of weakness; it is fulfilling your responsibility as a parent. Understanding that you cannot handle everything by yourself, and then taking thoughtful actions with Sabr and honesty, shows your trust in Allah Almighty and your deep affection for your child.

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