Parenting Perspective 

When a child withdraws emotionally, it can feel like you are facing an insurmountable wall. As a parent, you may find yourself confused, hurt, and even desperate to reach them. Emotional withdrawal often signals deeper feelings, such as hurt, frustration, or fear, that are difficult for a child to express. It is important to approach these moments with patience, empathy, and a commitment to repair, even if the process feels slow. Rebuilding a relationship requires consistency and a non-judgemental space that allows your child to come forward on their own terms. 

Give Space, But Stay Available 

When a child withdraws, it is often because they feel overwhelmed and need time to process their emotions. While it is important to respect their need for space, it is equally important to ensure they know you are emotionally available. 

• What to do: Let your child know that you are there for them whenever they are ready to talk, without pushing them. You could say, ‘I can see you are feeling upset, and I am here for you whenever you want to talk or need a hug.’ 

• Why it works: Giving them time while reassuring them of your presence shows that you respect their emotional boundaries and that you are a constant, reliable figure in their life. 

Model Emotional Openness 

Even if your child withdraws, it is important to model emotional openness and vulnerability. When you express your own emotions in a healthy way, it creates a space for your child to feel safe expressing their own. 

• What to do: Share your feelings with your child, especially when you are feeling frustrated or sad. For example, ‘I understand you are feeling upset, and I feel sad that we are not talking as much. But I want you to know that I love you and I am here to listen whenever you are ready.’ 

• Why it works: Modelling emotional honesty helps children feel safe with their own emotional expressions and encourages them to open up when they are ready. 

Reinforce Unconditional Love 

One of the most powerful ways to repair a relationship is to consistently remind your child that your love for them is unconditional. Children who withdraw may feel unworthy of love, especially if they have been hurt. 

• What to do: During times of withdrawal, express your love in simple, consistent ways, whether through words, physical affection, or acts of kindness. For example, ‘Even though you seem upset, I want you to know I love you no matter what.’ 

• Why it works: This reaffirmation of unconditional love provides your child with emotional security and helps them feel safe to eventually reconnect. 

Be Patient and Consistent in Small Gestures 

When your child withdraws, it can be easy to become discouraged, but the key to repairing the relationship is consistency over time. Small, simple gestures are more powerful than any one grand effort. 

• What to do: Send small, positive signals that communicate love and care, such as a note that says ‘I love you’ or ‘I am thinking about you.’ You can also engage in activities they enjoy, even if they are distant. 

• Why it works: These consistent actions signal to your child that you are there for them, no matter how long it takes for them to open up. 

Spiritual Insight 

The Promise of Ease with Hardship 

The noble Quran reminds us that every challenge we face is paired with relief. In moments of emotional distance, it may feel overwhelming, but Allah Almighty assures us that through persistence and patience, both our hearts and our relationships will find ease. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Inshirah (94), Verses 5-6: 

‘Thus with (every) hardship there is facilitation (from Allah Almighty). Indeed, with (every) hardship there is facilitation (from Allah Almighty).‘ 

The hardship in repairing a strained relationship will eventually bring relief as you and your child grow closer through understanding and love. 

The Importance of Patience and Empathy 

The teachings of the Prophet Muhammad ﷺ tell us that while we may hurt others unintentionally, the key to repairing trust is to act with integrity and maintain patience. When our children withdraw, our role is to show kindness and empathy. 

It is recorded in Mishkaat Al Masaabih, Hadith 2374, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘A believer does not harm others with their words or actions.’ 

By consistently offering love and space, we reflect the Prophet’s ﷺ teachings in our daily lives. With time and consistent effort, your child will learn that no emotional distance can erase the bond you share.