How do I keep my own tone steady when I confiscate a device? 

Parenting Perspective 

Taking away a device is often necessary when boundaries are ignored, but it can quickly escalate if your own frustration comes through in raised voices or sharp words. Staying steady teaches your child that consequences are about guidance, not anger. 

Prepare Yourself Before Acting 

Take one deep breath before speaking. Remind yourself: I am setting a boundary, not starting a battle. This pause helps you approach the situation calmly. 

Use Short, Neutral Phrases 

Avoid long lectures or sarcasm. Stick to steady, simple words. This makes the boundary clear without emotional charge. 

• ‘The device is being put away because the rule was not followed.’ 

• ‘You can have it back tomorrow when we try again.’ 

Keep Body Language Calm 

Stand or sit upright, speak in a measured tone, and avoid rushing. Children often react more to your tone and expression than to your actual words. 

Offer a Path Forward 

End with reassurance that the consequence is temporary and tied to behaviour. This shows discipline is about learning, not rejection. 

• ‘You will get another chance tomorrow.’ 

• ‘We will try again later when the rules are followed.’ 

A mini-dialogue example: 

Child: ‘That is not fair!’ 

Parent: ‘I hear you are upset. The rule was not followed, so the device is being put away. You will have it back tomorrow.’ 

Spiritual Insight 

Holding a steady tone in discipline reflects Islamic values of justice and mercy. Consequences should correct behaviour without crushing dignity. 

Justice With Calmness 

This shows that discipline should always be balanced with justice and good conduct. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Nahal (16), Verse 90: 

‘ Indeed, Allah (Almighty) orders you to promote justice and benevolence; and to be generous towards (positively developing) those that are within your jurisdiction; and to prevent that which is immoral, acts of irrationality, and cruelty; and He (Allah Almighty) offers this enlightened direction so that you continue to realise (the true pathway of Islam).’ 

The Prophet ﷺ on Gentleness 

This Hadith reminds us that gentleness makes discipline effective, while harshness weakens its purpose. 

It is recorded in Sahih Muslim, 2594, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘Gentleness is not in anything except that it adorns it, and it is not removed from anything except that it makes it defective.‘ 

By keeping your tone steady when confiscating a device, you model justice, mercy, and self-control. Over time, your child learns that discipline is not about power struggles, but about fairness and growth values that strengthen both family life and faith.