How do I keep calm when my child dawdles and we are late for school again? 

Parenting Perspective 

Nearly every parent is familiar with the unique stress of a chaotic morning. You are trying to get everyone out of the door, but your child is still searching for their socks, absorbed in a toy, or simply staring into space. It can feel as though they are moving in slow motion while the clock seems to tick louder and faster. In these moments, it is natural to feel frustrated, yet your ability to remain calm is far more important than punctuality alone. Children learn how to manage stress by observing how we handle our own. 

Building a Consistent and Predictable Routine 

Instead of expecting your child to suddenly develop an adult’s sense of urgency, it is more effective to break the morning routine into small, predictable steps. When the structure of the morning is clear, a child feels more secure and is less likely to become lost in distractions. 

• Prepare the night before: Pack the school bag, lay out the uniform, and place shoes by the door. 

• Use a visual checklist: For younger children, a list with pictures they can tick off works wonderfully. 

• Build in a ten-minute buffer: This allows for minor delays without causing immediate stress. 

Managing Your Own Frustration 

It is helpful to have a quick, simple calming strategy for yourself when you feel your patience wearing thin. This is not a sign of weakness but of wise parenting; it is a conscious choice to prevent your frustration from becoming your child’s lasting memory of the morning. 

• Take a slow, deep breath, and make your exhale longer than your inhale. 

• Remind yourself: ‘I am modelling patience. My child is learning from my calmness.’ 

• If necessary, step into another room for just ten seconds to reset before returning. 

Encouraging Cooperation Without Nagging 

Children have a tendency to tune out when they hear the same commands repeated over and over. Try a different approach to foster cooperation. This simple shift can turn a moment of pressure into one of partnership. 

• Offer simple choices: ‘Would you like to put your shoes on first, or your coat?’ 

• Use playful challenges: ‘I notice we are moving a little slowly. What is next on your list? Let us see if we can get it done in thirty seconds!’ 

Reframing the Importance of the Moment 

In a moment of rising stress, ask yourself: is being five minutes late for school more damaging than raising my voice and fracturing my connection with my child? In most cases, the answer is clear. The relationship must come first. When your child feels safe, connected, and understood, their cooperation and punctuality will naturally improve over time. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam teaches us that patience and calmness are not signs of weakness but are marks of true strength and trust in Allah. The daily challenges of parenting provide a constant opportunity to practise this truth. 

The Virtue of Patience in Parenting 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Aalai Imran (3), Verses 200: 

‘ O you who are believers, be patient, and be resilient, and be constant, and attain piety from Allah (Almighty) so that you may be successful.‘ 

This verse reminds us that perseverance in trying moments, including the ordinary challenge of a late school morning, is an integral part of attaining spiritual success. 

Mercy as a Mark of Strength 

It is recorded in Al Adab Al Mufrad, Hadith 388, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘A believer who mixes with people and is patient with their harm is better than the one who does not mix with people and is not patient with their harm.’ 

This hadith teaches us that engaging with people, including our own children who test our patience, requires a high degree of endurance, and that this form of patience is spiritually elevating. Each time you choose to pause instead of shouting, you are not only protecting your child’s heart but are also acting upon the teachings of the Prophet ﷺ. 

In this way, even the most mundane moments, like tying shoelaces or finishing breakfast, can be transformed into acts of worship when they are approached with patience (sabr) and mercy. A child who grows up witnessing calm responses to stress learns an invaluable lesson: that Islam is not just about rituals and rules, but about the beautiful character we cultivate in our daily lives. By embodying patience, you are giving your child a living example of faith in action.