How do I hold one child’s attention while the other is talking? 

Parenting Perspective 

When two children are speaking at once, the home can quickly feel like a competition for attention. One child talks while the other interrupts, voices rise, and frustration takes over. This behaviour, however, rarely stems from rudeness; it comes from the natural and innocent urge to be heard. The key is to teach your children that listening and waiting are just as valuable as speaking. 

Establish a ‘Turn and Listen’ Rule 

You can establish a predictable pattern for family conversations. Before beginning a discussion, you can say clearly, ‘We will speak one at a time. When it is your turn, everyone will listen.’ It can be helpful to use a physical object, like a soft ball, as a talking token. Whoever is holding the object is the one who speaks, while the others listen. This concrete cue turns an abstract idea of fairness into something visible and manageable. With younger children, start with very short turns and offer praise for their patience: ‘You waited so nicely while your brother was speaking. That was very respectful.’ 

Use Clear Body Language 

Children gauge the importance of a conversation through your eyes and your tone. When one child is talking, it is helpful to turn your body slightly towards them while keeping your voice and expression calm. You can let the other child know non-verbally that their turn is coming, perhaps with a gentle nod or a raised finger that says, ‘I see you; please hold that thought.’ After the first child has finished, you can give a brief response before turning to the next: ‘Thank you for sharing that with me. Now, let us hear what your sister wanted to say.’ This models fairness and empathy in real time. 

Reinforce Listening as a Family Value 

You can teach your children that listening is not just about being silent; it is a form of respect. During calmer moments, you can explain, ‘When we listen properly to someone, we make them feel important. Allah loves those who treat others with kindness.’ It is important to demonstrate this yourself. When your child talks to you, put your phone down, make eye contact, and respond thoughtfully. What children see is often more powerful than what they are told. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam teaches that listening well is an act of humility and wisdom. The ability to pause, let another person finish speaking, and respond thoughtfully is the reflection of a heart that is trained in patience and respect. When you guide your children to wait for their turn to speak, you are teaching them not just good manners, but adab, the spiritual discipline of honouring another person’s voice. 

The Quranic Guidance on Respectful Listening 

The Quran celebrates those who truly listen, not just hear. Teaching your children to wait, absorb what is being said, and respond with thought helps to build their understanding, compassion, and wisdom, all qualities that Allah Almighty praises as signs of guidance. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Zumar (39), Verse 18: 

‘Those people that listen attentively to a saying, and then follow what is the best (content) from it; those are the people who have been guided by Allah (Almighty); and those are the people of rational understanding.’ 

The Prophetic Example of Fairness 

The life of the Prophet Muhammad ﷺ reveals how deeply he valued inclusion and fairness in all communication. Teaching your children not to talk over each other is a mirror of this prophetic sensitivity, ensuring that everyone feels seen and respected. 

It is recorded in Sahih Bukhari, Hadith 6290, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘When three are sitting together, two should not converse privately excluding the third until others join them, for that would grieve him.’ 

Holding one child’s attention while another speaks is not an exercise in control, but one of connection. Each pause and each calm turn helps to shape your home into a space of listening and dignity. Through your own tone and your fairness, your children can learn that respect is mutual, and that every voice deserves its moment. 

Spiritually, you are nurturing one of the most refined forms of faith: the ability to give others the space to be heard. When children grow up in an atmosphere where listening is a form of love and patience is a source of strength, they will carry those qualities beyond the home and into the wider world, guided by the grace of Allah Almighty.